Goats in Love

Goats are always in love. They are also great fence breakers.  This is a bad combination.  I don’t know why Daddy kept goats. In theory, they’d eat brush and he’d have one to barbecue on Memorial Day, Fourth of July, or Labor Day.   The fact is, goats are not stupid.  They are born knowing flowers, grass, garden vegetables, and almost anything else is better than brush.  Only a starving goat would eat poison ivy or bitterweed.  Their main function was to get their heads stuck in fences, climb on everything and make passionate love.  If goat testosterone could be marketed, I’d invest.

Goats went thru our yard fence like ghosts go through walls.  Our house was enclosed by a wire fence.  The long drive leading up to the house was also fenced.  The pasture presented a third line of fence between the goats and the house.  None of this fencing got between  Daddy’s goats and their aim in life, copulating before as many onlookers as possible: ministers, prissy ladies, and small children, in that order.  The tiniest of window ledges presented no problem if the company was saintly enough.  Goats crashed my six-year-sister’s birthday party, indulging in a lurid love fest on the lawn, giving the kiddies an eye full till we got it broken up.  Once, a huge Billy Goat even cornered his lady friend on the hood of the school bus.  Thank goodness, that was enough to finally put an end to the goat herd.

17 thoughts on “Goats in Love

  1. I grew up knowing that when my great aunts described a man as “an old goat,” they meant he had a wandering eye for the ladies. Now I know where the expression comes from and exactly what it means. I’m sure my aunts knew all along and provided the milder definition for my young ears. Thanks for educating me.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. In the delta where we windsurf, our campground is surrounded by pastureland–mostly cows. A large billy goat ended up in our campground, I think due to loneliness. He was behind a fence and I went up to him and saw he had burrs and stickers all over his face. I petted him and pulled off the burrs and apparently made a new friend. Of course goats have a VERY gamey odor, and later when I was in my trailer, I said, “Wow, the wind must be up, I can really smell that goat!” Well that goat had gotten through the fence and was in our campground. He started walking around, very tame, and many of my “City-slicker” friends got upset and wanted him removed. Because I had horses as a kids, I grabbed a rope and collared him and led him away. It was as if the crowd was chasing Frankenstein! The farmers eventually came and picked up Billy. Great story, thanks for reminding me about my goat friend!

    Liked by 1 person

Talk To Me!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s