Rye logged from LittleKarl’s Blog Thanks

11/23/2014 AT 01:40 PM EST
View original post 296 more words
Rye logged from LittleKarl’s Blog Thanks
11/23/2014 AT 01:40 PM EST
View original post 296 more words
Important to us all. Please protect helpless animals in cold weather. rebloginghttps://wordpress.com/read/post/id/44794780/9953/
Repost:
When you are dealing with family, it clarifies things to have a scale. You don’t have to waste time analyzing people when you have a ready reference. This one works pretty well for us.
1.Has a monogrammed straight jacket and standing reservation on mental ward.
2.Family is likely to move away without leaving forwarding address. Has jail time in the past or the future
3.People say, “Oh, crap. Here comes Johnny.”
4.Can go either way. Gets by on a good day. Never has been arrested. Can be lots of fun or a real mess. Relatives usually will invite in for coffee. Likely to have hormone-induced behavior.
5.Regular guy. Holds down a job. Mostly takes care of business. Probably not a serial marry-er. Attends church when he has to.
6.Good fellow. Almost everybody likes him or her. Volunteers for Habitat for Humanity. Manages money well enough to retire early.
7.High achiever. Business is in order. Serves on city council.
8.Looks too good to be true. What’s really going on?
9.Over-achiever. Affairs are in order. Solid citizen. Dull, dull, dull. Could end up as a 1 Continue reading
I am reblogging one of my first, favorite posts about my eccentric family. Enjoy!
When you are dealing with family, it clarifies things to have a scale. You don’t have to waste time analyzing people when you have a ready reference. This one works pretty well for us.
1.Has a monogrammed straight jacket and standing reservation on mental ward.
2.Family is likely to move away without leaving forwarding address. Has jail time in the past or the future
3.People say, “Oh, crap. Here comes Johnny.”
4.Can go either way. Gets by on a good day. Never has been arrested. Can be lots of fun or a real mess. Relatives usually will invite in for coffee. Likely to have hormone-induced behavior.
5.Regular guy. Holds down a job. Mostly takes care of business. Probably not a serial marrier. Attends church when he has to.
6.Good fellow. Almost everybody likes him or her. Volunteers for Habitat for Humanity. Manages money well enough to retire early.
7.High achiever. Business is in order. Serves on city council.
8.Looks too good to be true. What’s really going on?
9.Over-achiever. Affairs are in order. Solid citizen. Dull, dull, dull. Could end up as a 1 Continue reading
Agents selling funeral policies were a fixture in the rural South. Our budget was too tight for such luxuries as funeral policies, so Mother tried hard to make sure we didn’t die. Myrtle Harper sold policies for Jolly Funeral Home and Watkins products for the home. She was a nosy do-gooder who carried sunshine from house to house, dispensing information about people’s financial situations (Betty Jones was three months behind on her six policies but thought she might be able to get the money from her Mama, now that her daddy had drunk himself to death and Mama wasn’t stretched quite so tight), their health(It’s a good thing, Bonnie Mercer bought that nice policy on her new baby. She might need it if the baby didn’t start looking better.) and social issues.(Bertha Willis had another black eye and “No wonder Phil Parker ran around with everything in a skirt. Lucy kept a filthy house and her cooking wasn’t fit for the hogs.”)
Even though Mother had repeatedly refused to purchase funeral policies, Mother occasionally bought Watkins Vanilla or Anti Pain Oil for her headaches, so Myrtle kept optimistically coming by every time she was in the neighborhood. She inspected each new baby hopefully to see if it might look puny enough to tempt Mother into buying a new policy. When Connie and Marilyn were toddlers, they sat playing in the shade of a huge oak tree as Mother and Myrtle drank tea and Myrtle planned her latest insurance campaign. “Just look at those two little girls playing there. If you bought a policy for them right now, I could get them both a four hundred policy for just a dollar a month. If you wait till they’re thirteen, it would cost you at least a thousand dollars to bury them.”
Mother studied her babies thoughtfully. “Well, I guess we’d better bury them now. I wouldn’t want to miss out on a good deal.” Myrtle never even knew she was being strung along.
As I walked in my first grade classroom in December 1956, I wondered what all the excitement in the back of the room was about. The kids were buzzing around a mushy, malodorous pile of paper towels on the floor. “What happened?” Continue reading
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