Mean Mama

Things my mother said to me or one of my siblings:

Shut up that whining!  Do you think you’re the first kid that ever had a broken arm?

When my brother complained she’d whooped him five times that day.  ” I know, Son.  I’m sorry I neglected you.  I had four other kids to whoop.”

When we complained we didn’t like the food:  “Good, maybe they’re will be something left for supper.”

If that horse throws you and breaks your leg, don’t come running to me!

Don’t mess with that snake.  The head’s just as dangerous as the rest of it.

HO! HO! HO! Deer Season Doesn’t Come But Once a Year

Daddy took his hunting very seriously.  This was a man’s sport, an entitlement.  Real men hunted and fished.  A man’s outdoor gear was a reflection of him.  Daddy would have sooner worn lace panties than not follow the unwritten rules. His hunting gear was a necessity, not an extravagance like a dependable car, bills paid on time, and clothes for Continue reading

Most Awful Christmas Ever

One year, the Awful’s made sure their parents had the most awful Christmas ever.  Like the rest of us, they couldn’t wait for Christmas.  As always, they starting finding their presents about a week before Christmas.  Every day one of them showed up with something new.  One day, Froggy had a brand new basketball.  The next day, Jamey had Continue reading