The Dead Pony, the Warped Kid, and the World’s Most Horrible Mother

dead ponyThe phone rang one day.  Without introduction, I heard the familiar, deep voice of one of my son’s friends.  “Miss Linda, is that story about the pony true?”

“Yep!”  The last thing I heard was gales of laughter as I hung up.

If you are the sensitive type, skip this story.

Many years ago when my son was young, we were hauling a load of tree trimmings to the landfill.  As my husband backed the truck up to unload, I spotted a dead pony, bloated with all four legs stuck up in the air.  Without thinking, I said, “Hey, John.  Do you want a pony?”

Of course he said, “Yes!”

“Well, there’s one right over there!”

“Wahhh!!!!!”

I swear it was not intentional.  Sometimes I think there is a disconnect between my brain and my mouth!

18 thoughts on “The Dead Pony, the Warped Kid, and the World’s Most Horrible Mother

  1. My wife was taking a little too long in the bathroom prior to a dinner I was taking her out to for her birthday, so I called through the door, “Hey, we’re going to be late, what are you doing in there?” She called back at me, “I’m putting on my face.” So I yelled back, “Well, if you had another one, why were you wearing that old burnt out one?” Forget about dinner, and her birthday, I believe she said something to the effect that she couldn’t afford anymore birthdays if her face was already showing such terrible effects from the ones she had already had. Then she cried a lot, and I still feel guilty 25 years later.

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    • Well, she did sort set herself up for it! I got my husband good and he laughed. We drove by a Penal Farm and he said, “Hey, that’s what I’m going to plant this Spring!”
      I answered, “Don’t bother. Your last crop didn’t come up!” He nearly ran off the road laughing.

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    • You should meet my son. The rotten apple didn’t fall far from the rotten tree. He complained to his teacher one day that all the wimpy kids kept making him take their lunch money. You can bet I got a phone call. She didn’t have a sense of humor. (He hadn’t taken any money.)

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