Order Anything You Like, Chubby!

I took Mother for her routine checkup this morning.  Her heart, lungs, vital signs, and weight were perfect.  In fact, at one hundred twenty-seven pounds, she weighs one pound less than when she married.  She’s in great shape for a sixty-year-old, absolutely phenomenal for a lady well-past eighty.  She’d had to fast for her lab, so she was ravenously hungry.  I pulled in to the nearest restaurant to get her some breakfast, in the interest of survival.  I think I have mentioned before, she is very tight, as well as just a bit testy if she misses a meal.  The waiter bought the menu.  Mother poured over it, starving, as she calculated what each item on the menu would cost if she prepared it at home.  She noticed biscuits were two for one dollar forty-nine cents.  Wheat or white toast was ninety-nine cents.  Eggs, ninety-nine cents each.  Starving but stingy, she told the waiter she’d have two eggs, over-easy and the wheat toast with black coffee.  I ordered my breakfast, asking that it all be on one ticket.  At that, Mother brightened.  “Oh, if she’s paying, I’ll have two biscuits and one for carryout.  Not only that, she ate more than half my grits and had coffee to go!