More Baloney,Please!


My temperature was 103.  Bud had been working out of town for three days when he came home to find the kids sticking baloney and cheese on the wall.  They’d stick it it up to make patterns, lick it when it turned loose and fell to the floor, then reuse it.  They were happily occupied, letting me lie on the sofa.

“What the hell is going on?  Don’t you see these kids plastering the walls with baloney and cheese?”

“Yeah.  I’m so glad you’re home.  I was afraid it was about to quit sticking before you got here!”

First Things First

The first day of school, Miss Angie passed out great big yellow pencils just the size of my nostrils. I stuck the blunt end of mine up my nose. It felt really smooth and slick. It smelled just like Mother’s iron skillet. Miss Angie got all mad, picked it out of my hand, and threw it in the gray metal trash can with a big thunk. “Don’t stick pencils up your nose. That’s nasty.” The pencil didn’t look that nasty to me or I wouldn’t have stuck it up my nose.

Y’all Got a Snake in Y’all’s Tree!

eve and serpentIt’s not everyday one hears a dynamic statement like this! Melvin was the ex-husband of Mother’s old friend, Maggie. A good man, he’d gone just a bit “off the rails” and Maggie, had reluctantly left him as a result of his increasingly fantical religious leanings. Mother and Daddy had long been faithful congregants of their church, only missing services if unable Continue reading

Over the Rails

th9DTOAK27 (2)My little one was monkeying over the rails of her crib long before she was a year old. Given the freedom to roam, there were so many better things to do than stay in that little toddler bed and sleep. I’d lie down with her, wrap her in “Pinky” read books and tell story after story till her bright little eyes stayed Continue reading