Goats are always in love. They are also great fence breakers. This is a bad combination. I don’t know why Daddy kept goats. In theory, they’d eat brush and he’d have one to barbecue on Memorial Day, Fourth of July, or Labor Day. The fact is, goats are not stupid. They are born knowing flowers, grass, garden vegetables, and almost anything else is better than brush. Only a starving goat would eat poison ivy or bitterweed. Their main function was to get their heads stuck in fences, climb on everything and make passionate love. Our first job after school was to count goats, then check the fence lines to get the dumb butts out. If goat testosterone could be marketed, I’d invest.
Goats went thru our yard fence like ghosts go through walls. Our house was enclosed by a wire fence. The long drive leading up to the house was also fenced. The pasture presented a third line of fence between the goats and the house. None of this fencing got between Daddy’s goats and their aim in life, copulating before as many onlookers as possible: ministers, prissy ladies, and small children, in that order. The tiniest of window ledges presented no problem if the company was saintly enough.
Goats crashed my six-year-sister’s birthday party, indulging in a lurid love fest on the lawn, giving the kiddies an eye full till we got it broken up. We had the preacher over to Sunday dinner when a randy Billy Goat brought his lady love to share an intimate moment on the dining room window ledge. When we chased them off the window ledge, they consummated their love on top of the pastor’s new car. It caved in. Miraculously, it popped back in place after they jumped off. Later, Billy Goat even cornered his lady friend on the hood of the school bus. He got phone calls from a couple of prissy mothers. Thank goodness, that was enough to finally put an end to the goat herd.
The REAL reason those billy goats gruff crossed the troll bridge: some hussy of a lady goat on the other side!
LikeLike
I’m sorry to tell you goats aren’t that picky. We had one who fell in love with a huzzy of a Tom Turkey and hog simultaneously. When Daddy saw that, old Billy had to go!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m visiting from Tess’s blog Let’s CUT The Crap! I just love a goat story 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks so much for dropping by. I’ll try to entertain you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That would’ve been a sight to see!
LikeLike
Loved every minute, especially Daddy’s face.
LikeLike
Hahahahaha… here in Spain when somebody is nuts… we say: You are as crazy as a goat!!!!!!
LikeLike
That’s a good one.
LikeLike
Other Brother had a goat, which fell madly and passionately in love……….. with its reflection in his patio doors. The insurance company paid out, but when it happened again, roast goat was on the menu.
LikeLike
I’ll bet.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow… never boring.
LikeLike
Great story! I’ve been wanting goats for a while, but it’s always been my plan to stick to females! From what I’ve seen, they can get into enough trouble even without the gents….
LikeLike
Never.
LikeLike
Are you talking about me?
LikeLike
Am I?
LikeLiked by 1 person
The goat’s asking you?
LikeLike
LOL I had no idea! They are my favorite animal. G-uno
LikeLiked by 1 person
Get yourself a few. You’ll be able to write a book!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I even married an astrological goat. 😉 G-uno
LikeLike
It’s karma!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I had no idea goats were so…randy. 😀 😀 😀
LikeLike
They should have them on Viagra ads!
LikeLiked by 2 people
You mean like those slick Geigo commercials. Have you seen the Scapegoat commercial. We’re surrounded!
LikeLike
I love those!
LikeLike
Me too. What do they do to get us hooked? Anyway if your goats were looking for a job… 😀 You know…
LikeLike
Oh, my goats have all been barbecued long ago. They were delicious!
LikeLike
😀 😀 I bet they were! Hilarious but tasty.
LikeLike
Goats are just funny animals. I’ve never heard a sad goat story.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I haven’t either.
LikeLike
They do what they want, when & where they want. I teased my little sister about her “Nibble-nose, My Pet Goat” story by chanting, “Nibble-Nose is my pet goat, Marsha has a dumbbell coat;” until she ratted me out to mom or dad.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Little sisters are overrated!
LikeLike
Love the first three sentences….that’s a very bad combo, indeed.
LikeLike
Sad but true!
LikeLike