When my first child was born, I suffered from Post Partum Depression. I had expected to welcome him joyfully into my life, but I was so depressed, I wasn’t able to do that. I cared for him like an automaton, bathing, dressing, feeding, and rocking him like all new mothers, but knew something was missing. I talked to my doctor, who told me sometimes new mothers get the blues. Fortunately, I never developed psychosis. I had excellent family support. By the time he was six months old, I was pretty much back to normal, and adored him, just as I’d expected to, but for years I felt guilty, feeling I had cheated him. When my second child came along, I was depressed again, but knew it would pass, so wasn’t worried. I feel for mothers in bad circumstances or with no support or access to medical care. It is easy to see that they could get lost. Thank God for modern medicine.
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Being open about it will help many others. Thanks.
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I would have loved to have heard from someone else.
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It was hard for me too.
Your children are adorable. 😊
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Thanks. They are grown now
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I know your daughter is expecting.
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I love it how mothers are able to admit that it’s not always love at the first sight – and it doesn’t need to be. Honest love at the second glance is anyways much stronger and as a child of such a mother you just can’t be cold and not admit that those women are heroes and worth being respected for everything they went through to have a kid.
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The love is strong no matter the depression. My children are my life.
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I can understand the guilt. Glad you picked up where you left off. You have gorgeous kids. Are the blues due to hormonal imbalance after giving birth? I never have heard. ❤ ❤
I fell in love immediately and felt I'd known how she looked all along. Funny, how that happens to some,
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It is hormone driven but worse in families with tendencies with mood disorders. My mother and one sister had it. Two sisters and my daughter were ecstatic after giving birth.
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Sorry to hear some of your family had it rough after their deliveries.
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Thai goodness, we got through it.
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And it’s all behind you now. ❤ ❤ ❤
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Thank goodness.
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It’s a very dark place that most who suffer will not share. Your words will help someone, no doubt. An important post. ☺ Van
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I hope so. No one but my mother ever admitted having a problem while I was suffering. The Dr. Just blew it off.
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I hope we are all wiser about that now. I think there was a time that most Dr’s. blew off a lot of depressive issues in women.
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He said, “lot’s of new mothers get the blues.” I said. “”Do lot’s is of new mothers wish they were dead.” He said, “now you’re just being dramatic.” I shut up.
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I suspect lots of women had to just “shut up”… how very blind they were to women’s pain. My mother’s mental illness was often passed over as “change of life” issues. Hormonal changes…ugh. There is a history of treating mental health in women by gynecological surgery. Dark Ages. I’m so sorry this happened to you, but thanks for speaking out about it. It will surely make others feel less alone. ☺ Van
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I hope
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I took care of a woman who became very psychotic after she delivered. She spent weeks in a psychiatric unit on neuroleptics. Turned out she had a pituitary tumor. Yes, thank God for modern medicine!
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I was later diagnosed with mild pitituitary defunct ion and put on syndrome. Runs in family.
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It`s almost normal, it happened to me as well as I suffered a horrible delivery..I was more than one month I coudln’t sat… so when my mother told me… You had a nice girl… I thought… other woman who will pass the same misery….I wish she were with me…
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I felt so guilty when I saw all the other doting mothers I just felt numb.
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Thanks for sharing .. So many women still feel alone in that state, even though we know about these things… It helps to read about other’s experiences. 😊
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I hope it helps somebody.
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😊
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I totally can understand that you felt guilty although you couldn’t do anything about it. Also glad that it simply passed again and you were warned for your second child.
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Me too.
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I know. It’s hard.
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Did you suffer with it?
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Yes 😞
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I always wondered why I didn’t automatically fall in love with my first newborn – aren’t you supposed to? But I was just sooooo tired all the time. I also had excellent family support, so within just a few weeks, I was defending my child like a mother bear (“Don’t you touch that baby until you’ve washed your hands!” “Stop showing that baby to all your neighbors and friends – she’s my child, not a toy for you to play with!”). It never occurred to me that I might have suffered post-partum depression, and no medical person ever brought it up. Although I did have one pediatrician offer to prescribe valium for me if the baby’s crying became too hard to handle. I declined, mostly because I didn’t want to be too medicated to take care of my own kid.
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So smart of you to decline the valium. It would have depressed you further. They didn’t really treat post-partum depression well until fairly recently.
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