Things Mothers Do

imageI miss all the things my mother used to do for me. Even though she had to get up to a freezing house at five-thirty in winter to do it, she always had a hot breakfast on the table when we got up, usually hot biscuits, eggs, fresh milk, homemade jam or preserves, and either grits or oatmeal.  Like most kids, I didn’t want it, but she insisted. “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!”  After the whirlwind of getting the older  Continue reading

Dirty, Old Man

MegaphoneWarning:   This story may be disturbing to readers who are triggered by stories of child sexual abuse.

There was a crazy, dirty, old man in the neighborhood where I grew up in the 1950s and 1960s.  He’d lived there for years and raised a family.  No woman would walk near him. Upon moving into the neighborhood, the first thing every woman learned was to stay away from him and to warn their little girls to run if they saw him coming.  A cry would go up at his appearance and little girls from all directions literally ran home to Mama.  You can believe I was severely warned never to approach “that” house.  Thank God we have made progress in the way child molestors and sex predators are treated now.   Just think how many people this man must have harmed and lives he must have ruined.

Buzzy the Barbarian

imageMy dog Buzzy weighs twenty-five pounds.  Twenty-five nipple-stomping,bladder-compressing, and according to some sources scrotum-squashing pounds.  I don’t know how or why he does this, but if he catches one of us stretched out on the sofa, he makes a bee-line for our recumbent body, leaping on our tenderest portions joyously.  I don’t know how he’s lived this long, except that by the time we’ve recovered, he’s moved on. He looks sweet, but he’s a killer.

A Rose by any Other Name

teacherWhen the little girl started first grade, the teacher asked her name.

“Happy Butt.”

“Happy Butt. That’s not a name.  Let me check my records.”  She checked her records and came back.  “You’re name is Gladys, not Happy Butt!”

“Glad Ass, Happy Butt.  Same thing!”