Big Mouth

When my brother Billy was a kid, my parents dreaded hearing whatever might come out of  his mouth.  Daddy took him to the store with him one day.  As Billy stood on the top step, Daddy and his friend Mr. Shorty stood on the ground talking.  Billy happily reached over, patted Mr. Shorty affectionately on his bald head, and said, “Well hello, little, short fat man.”

Not long afterward, Mother looked out the kitchen window to see Daddy’s friend with one leg, Mr. Charley headed to the front door.  She rushed to the living room, trying to get there before Billy, could ask what happened to his other leg.  She was too late.  As she walked into the room, Biily turned from Mr. Charley at the door to tell her, “Mama, a skeeter bit his leg off!”

My cousin kept hitting Billy.  Mother told Billy to “hit hit back.”  The next time that kid showed up, Billy kept asking Mother, “Can I hit him now, Mama?  Can I hit him now?”

17 thoughts on “Big Mouth

  1. LOL.
    My nephew did one that no one could miss. After the service, he went up on stage as everyone was mingling and called out over the microphone which had not been turned off, and hollered out to a man below. “Hi there Baldy, baldy, baldy!”
    My sister liked to die, she couldn’t get up there fast enough to pull him down before he said anything else.


  2. When Cordelia was a toddler, we took her grocery shopping and while waiting in line at the checkout with her sitting in the cart, she pointed to the gentleman in front of us and shouted out, “Look at that funny looking man!” The gentleman in front of us was a huge, football-playing-type man, and he didn’t seem too enamored of our little princess. I was glad that we had a huge grocery order on the conveyor belt, so he had plenty of time to leave the store and drive away before we got outside.

    I think I understand why some parents give kids lollipops in the grocery store. Kind of hard to shout out inappropriate comments with a sucker in your mouth.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. My younger brother, Jerry, was the same way. Mom ran a credit account at Charlie Rose’s Market. One day, while shopping with mom, Jerry announced–loud enough to be heard, “Soon as mom gets you paid off–she’s shopping somewhere else.”

    Liked by 2 people

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