Father’s Day

good pic of DadI miss my father.  He was actually three fathers to me.  The first, a doting, loving father whose every step I made, the smartest, most handsome man who ever lived.  He could do no wrong.

As I grew up, he struggled under increased responsibility.  Uncomfortable with adolescent girls, he put up a wall between us, becoming stern, cold, and distant, feeling women should raise girls.  I resented what I saw as rejection, not understanding his reasoning.  He could do little right.

As I became an adult, we grew close again.  He was a loving grandfather, free again to love me.  I still miss him.

16 thoughts on “Father’s Day”

  2. My dad was the same. I was pleasantly surprised to read your blog post and realize it wasn’t just my father who did that. He was great with us as little kids, but as we became teenagers, he made what you referred to as the wall. Even with my brothers, he was the same way. Now that I’m married and he’s a grandfather, we have a much better relationship and we are friends.

    Thank you for sharing your story and giving me a better understanding of my own past. 🙂

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    • We all think we are alone in this, don’t we. I still ache for that warmth and closeness. I did love seeing my children enjoy it, too. I’m glad they only remember the good.

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  3. Because the dominant gender sexualizes children, men are conditioned to be attracted to them, and straight men in our culture were not given coping strategies for dealing with the blooming sexual features of their own daughters. I think this is what was behind that distancing that so often occurred, which is sad.

    I’m glad the two of you grew close again.

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  6. Annie Emmy Evans says:

    Dads are such complicated, confusing creatures… at least for me. I still simultaneously miss mine and occasionally resent him. Weird.

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