Maggie married Melvin shortly after her first husband died. Maybe she should’ve waited longer, but she was exhausted after her long struggle to support Ray through his illness and then Little Ray after he died, so she was glad to have Melvin’s companionship and support, even though he was odd from the start. Things went well enough for several years, but by the time Melvin reached his late forties, he’d developed religious delusions that made him impossible to live with. Continue reading
John and Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, “I’m very sorry officer, I didn’t realize it was out, I’ll get it fixed right away.”
Just then Jessica said, “I knew this would happen when I told you two days ago to get that light fixed.”
So the officer asked for John’s license and after looking at it said, “Sir your license has expired.”
And again John apologized and mentioned that he didn’t realize that it had expired and would take care of it first thing in the morning.
Jessica said, “I told you a week ago that the state sent you a letter telling you that your license had expired.”
Well by this time, John is a bit upset with his wife contradicting him in front of the officer, and he said in a rather loud voice, “Jessica, shut your mouth!” pr0perty0fgl0wp0rt
The officer then leaned over toward Jessica and asked. “Does your husband always talk to you like that?”
Jessica replied, “only when he’s drunk.”
The Lord spoke unto them saying, “I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie….Hell is waiting for you. Continue reading
Dog poop is precious. Crazy people run behind dogs to collect it in small blue bags.
Pizza delivery people come to steal our pizza. The house must be defended at all costs. Continue reading