Miz Dalrymple and the Pig, True Story

The neighbors gathered after the first frost to slaughter the Jackson’s hogs.  Terrified by the commotion and scent of blood, one of the pigs managed to escape and hide up under under the neighbor’s outhouse, a good ways off, where Miz Dalrymple was
enjoying a little time to herself, thinking all the menfolk was off killing hogs.  Just as she got relaxed, she heard A deep voice, “I’ll git behind here ‘n poke ‘er with a stick.  You hit ‘er in th’ head with th’ ax when she comes a’runnin’ out!”

Thinking madmen had ‘er fee shore, pore Miz Dalrymple come a’flyin’ out with her drawers around her ankles.  It was amazing how fast an ol’ lady could run like that.  It took her two days to walk back!