Dear Auntie Linda,
My mother always compares me to my older sister. “Betty always takes me out for my birthday. Betty’s kids were always so well-behaved. Betty dresses so well. Betty is sending me on a cruise. Maybe Mike (Betty’s husband) could find something for Joe (my husband) to do at his company.”
Betty’s children are grown. Joe is proud of being a firefighter and doesn’t need Mike to get him a better job. It was nice of Betty to take Mom out for her birthday and give her a cruise. I made lunch for Mom here because my my toddlers run wild in restaurants and I only had $12 to spend and all she talked about was Betty. How do I get Mom to quit comparing us. It really hurts my feelings. I love Mom but she can be mean.
Dear Second Choice,
I think I am being generous in saying your mother is being insensitive. I feel sure you have told her comparisons are painful, haven’t you? If so, don’t expect her to change. You will only be disappointed. It is common to be on a limited budget with wild little ones happier at home. I’ve certainly been there. A homemade card and a phone call make my day, especially since my children are grown and on budgets. It’s nice that your sister can indulge your mom, but that shouldn’t make her gift more worthy. Be good to yourself if Mom can’t manage it.