Have a boy or know one? Useful information!
A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
A 3-year old Boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft. room.
You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh oh”, it’s already too late.
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
Certain Lego’s will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
Super glue is forever.
No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.
Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
VCR’s do not eject “PB &J” sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
It will, however, make cats dizzy.
Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
Those who pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without boys do it because:
a) For those with no children – this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control
Love it Linda! This truly could be birth control!!!
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Worked for me.
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Lol!!!!
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This so reminds me of my childhood!
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And where are you incarcerated now You may know my son?
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Ahh! boys – they are the best!!! So creative in their destructive plots to age their parents!!!!! Mentos and diet coke, presents of poop, Air Soft pellets that proliferate in the garden beds.
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Only wish I’d had a dozen!
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Well — let’s not get carried away. When my boys were younger, I used to think two were two too many. Don’t tell them I said so. 🙂
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I owe my son such a debt!
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Give a boy an imagination and DIY skills, a pad to write in and whole bunch of space…. You get two proud yet worn out parents and me!!
Two siblings in the mix and its one fun slice of family life
Epic post, and thank god we never had a water bed and a ceiling fan!
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Thanks. They do go wild!
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Reblogged this on Me: Finding the Missing Pieces and commented:
Fantastic! Love it!
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Hey, thanks!
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Reblogged this on SassaFrass, The Feisty and commented:
We threw socks at the ceiling fan. Wadded up, unfolded, clean, dirty-it was hella fun! Now I know how to paint a 20×20 room! I LOVED THIS!
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Thanks!
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Reblogged this on Advocate for Invisible Illness! and commented:
Had a bad day? Read this! Gave me a great laugh!
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Thanks, Tessa!
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My sides are killing me~~ You poor thing.
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Yep
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OMG. I raised my nephew from birth to about age 13. I know how this is, Funny sh*t.
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read in the comments about my son
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That’s a beautiful thing !! I might like to shake your son’s hand. ☺☺☺
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I would just love to write a lot more about my son, but I am not sure the statute of limitations has run out yet. One of his friends slipped up and said he set Red River on fire, but he still feigns amnesia on that one. He also came out in his tighty whities when we had company once with a giant clump of Play-Doh poked in the butt where it looked like he’d crapped his pants, but he was only ten, so that wasn’t the most shocking thing he ever did. He and three of his friends all got together and wrote papers about suicide, so all us parents were sitting in the office. They did almost die, seriously. He hung a little kid on the ceiling fan in his bedroom to give him a ride. It was consensual and the kid wasn’t hurt, but the ceiling got a full redo. I could go on forever. The worst is, he doesn’t plan to have kids. Who will pay him back? The only things he didn’t do are the things he didn’t think of.
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I remember the play-doh story, thought it was genius. The ceiling fan incident…could have been a disaster. And…you only had 1 son ??? ☺
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Yes, thank God. The only reason I never killed him was because he looked sweet asleep!
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They all do, it’s part of the master plan !!
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Oh he also got a long rope and looped it two or three times from the back bumper of the truck to the supporting beam of the carport. When I backed up it swung the truck off the ground. Bud heard it came and flying out of the house before I managed to have another go at pulling the house down.
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Oh, my…very resourceful ??? But a bit scary. I get it. ☺
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Reblogged this on Inbetweenpeople and commented:
Irony and sarcasm, in case you didn’t realise. Short story on the burner. Anticipate.
Hugs.
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Oh wonderful, Please send me link and I will retialiate!
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Link to what exactly?
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If you write a short story based on an idea I gave you, I will write one for you. I love to exchange ideas and encourage writing!
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Reblogged this on the red ant.
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Thanks so much
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Thanks for allowing me to pirate this! 😀
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So welcome!
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Hopefully, your kids didn’t try any (or all) of these.
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My son only missed the few things that didn’t cross his mind. Did himself proud. Once drove down the road nude except for a trench coat shooting at stop signs with a pistol. Is that a clue?
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Ours were pretty tame by comparison. The oldest girl snuck out the window after we went to bed–to party and do God knows what. The other two went to the show (so, they said) in mom’s new car. Called later to claim the car had broken down. A , not so clever, ruse to stay out all night and meet up with some boys. The middle girl, later married the same boy she met up with that night. Later the “mother’s curse” caught up with her, when he turned out to be a complete ass. She wised up and divorced him, after having two sons by him. They turned out reasonably well.
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Isn’t it amazing how bad you feel for kids after they’ve been such asses.
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Hahaha…. I don’t know on which I laughed most! They are all good.
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Don’t you need a few more boys?
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Thank you bunches… but two of them are enough… lol
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One met my suffering needs quite well.
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Haha… see!!!
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chk email
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Will do!
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Very funny. May I reblog?
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Please
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Please do!
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