Three Quotes in Three Days

My friend Brian at his excellent blog Vancouver Visions has kindly nominated me to do the Three Quotes in Three Days Challenge.  Thank you very much, Brian.  Be sure to check his site out.  His photography is awe-inspiring.  I love the rambles and views of Vancouver he shares.  Brian has inspired me to do some good posts in the past, so I hope I don’t let him down.

My family, like most families uses certain quotes, based on our experiences that would be meaningless to outsiders without a lengthy explanation.  I think my favorite is, “Now, you have to buy the coffee.”

Many years ago my dad worked with a garrulous fellow named Slim.  Slim lied purely for the love of lying, not maliciously, for personal gain, nor to help himself.  He’d climb up on the house to tell a lie when he could stand on the ground and tell the truth.  After a while, the guys at work had a deal.  If one of them repeated a story Slim told, they bought the next round of coffee.  One day Slim came rushing by in a big hurry and one of them called out, “Hey, Slim, stop and tell us a lie.”

Without stopping, Slim rushed by them, calling over his shoulder, “I can’t.  Joe Marsh fell in stack four and I’m on the way to call an ambulance!”

They all dropped what they were doing to rush over to Stack Four to see if they could help.  When they get there, all was quiet.  Slim had pulled one on the whole group.

From that time forward, when one of us sites a suspicious source or repeats something that sounds suspect, we warn them they might have to “buy the coffee.”

i challenge any who wants to to accept the three quotes in three days challenge.

Terrible Names

 

People With Unfortunate Names:

 

Pssh, and you thought celebrity baby names were bad. Pilot Inspektor and North West have got nothing on the following unfortunate names that some people have.

There’s one sure thing: If you ever want your child to hate you forever and always be laughed at their whole life, naming them something like “Moe Lester” and “Chris P. Bacon” is a sure way to go about it – although, “Chris P. Bacon” is a pretty badass name to be fair.

Here’s a twist though: Maybe some of the following people legally changed their names themselves? Because who wouldn’t want to change their name to “Willie Stroker” or “General Arse Biscuites?” “General Arse Biscuites,” oh god! that’s got to be the best/unfortunate name ever!

10. Moe Lester

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9. General Arse Biscuites

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8. Dr. Whet Faartz

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7. Chris P. Bacon

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6. Steve Sharts

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5. Kash Register

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4. Batman Bin Suparman

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3. Phat Ho

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2. Willie Stroker

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1. Heath Cockburn

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These people’s names maybe unlucky and unfortunate, but come on, there’s some perks we guess to names like this. Why wouldn’t a school want to hire “Moe Lester” and which female wouldn’t want to go out with “Willie Stroker?” Also, which retail chain wouldn’t want to employ “Kash Register”. Jokes a side, we totally need to befriend “Chris P. Bacon”. That guy is just winning at life!

Found these on the internet but I did one know a fellow named Harry Boute’ (Pronounced Bootay)  Now what woman wouldn’t want to be Mrs. Harry Boute?

I can’t even discuss my friend, Anita who married Mr. Ray Dick, who had flaming red hair.  Yep, you guessed it, his nickname was Red.  It got even worse.  When they had a red-headed son, they called them Big Red and Little Red.  Now that’s just cruel.  I hope Little Red was tough.

I knew a lady named Armadillo Christian.  Sometimes, I think people just don’t want their kids to hang around.

Ask Auntie Linda July 25, 2015

Auntie LindaDear Auntie Linda,  A creepy guy lives next door.  I think he has been stealing my undies off the line in my backyard.  What should I do?  Tiny Hiney

Dear Tiny, Either hang your dainties inside or start hanging big, white Granny-panties with skid marks (magic marker)out there for a while.  That ought to teach him not to suck eggs!  Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda, My husband and I have a good life and don’t want to have children.  Our families know this.  I get a lot of remarks and grief from my parents, even though I made it clear I won’t change my mind.  What do I say to get them to let up?  Tired of Pushy Parents.

Dear Tired, Doubt you can shut them up.  Maybe they will eventually get tired of hitting a stone wall when you remind them it’s not up for discussion and leave it at that.  No one should have children if they don’t want to.  Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda.  My husband and I struggled to put ourselves through college.  My husband is an accountant.  I am a teacher.  Our oldest two kids got scholarships and are doing great.  Our youngest son did well in high school, but is determined to go to technical school to be a welder.  He took a welding class in high school and won several awards, but there is no reason he couldn’t go to college and do as well as his brothers.   We don’t want him to be disappointed later.  What do we do? Worried Mother

Dear Worried, Sounds like your son knows what he wants.  If you want to ensure he is disappointed, pressure him to do what brothers did.  He can do very well as a welder.  Should he ever want or need to, he could go to college later.  I got my nursing degree when I was thirty when I realized I didn’t want to be a teacher, but still used those skills. He sounds like a sharp guy.