Ask Auntie Linda July 26,2015

Dear Auntie Linda, My mother is fifty-four.  My father died two years ago.  Mother is still very lonesome.  My husband and I are very supportive of her and understand Sunday afternoons are hard for her, but this is our only day off together.  She has dropped by several times uninvited and interrupted our private time together, even though I’ve asked her to call before stopping by.  This is very annoying.  How do I get through to her.  Don’t Like Drop Ins

Dear Don’t, Either your mom is incredibly dense or just doesn’t care.  Stand your ground.  Make her wait a while.  Maybe she will leave.  If she doesn’t, got to the door in a loose robe, tell her, “”This is not a good time for company.  Bye.”

Dear Auntie Linda, I am no longer active in the religion I was raised in.  My elderly grandmother is pressuring me to “return to the faith” so I can be with her in the afterlife.  I can’t do this.  I do feel bad for my grandmother because I know her concerns for my soul are genuine, but it her faith is no longer mine.  How do I make her feel better?   Searching

Dear Searching, You may not be able to make her feel better, but you can’t borrow her faith. I suspect she’s working you, but that’s just me.  Like the rest of us, your grandmother will find out what happens when it happens.  Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda, My husband, Dave, and I have been married twenty-nine years.    When Dave and I had only been married a year, his brother Hal and I had sex one time.  It was just days before Hal married.  I realized immediately it was a terrible mistake and vowed to put it behind me.  Dave died five years ago.  I have a heart condition and don’t expect to live much longer.  I would like to die with a clear conscience.   Should I confess to Dave and clear my conscience?  Guilty

Dear Guilty, If I were in Dave I would be very upset if you unloaded your guilt on me at this point.  What are he supposed to do with his feelings after this many years?  If you’ve held it this long, find some other way to deal.  Talk to your priest or pastor.  Spare Dave till you think this through.  Auntie Linda