Dear Auntie Linda, August 30, 2015

Dear Auntie Linda, I just can’t stand my daughter’s husband.  I tried to get her not to marry him.  He will never make a good living.  He’s dumb, kind of dumpy, doesn’t dress well.  Sometimes he even wears overalls when they come over.  Carrie was raised better than this.  We gave her every advantage.  She had music and dance lessons, went to a good college.  He’s moved her to an old farm house way out in the sticks.  All she talks about now is her canning, her garden, raising bees, and her chickens.  She and the kids run around barefoot half the time.  I’d be so embarrassed if my friends ever saw how they live.  Why on earth would she throw her life away like this when she could do so much better.  Disappointed

Dear Disappointed, Sounds like Carrie has found just the life she wants.  The most important thing here is this man is your daughter’s choice.  If he is a good husband and treats her and the children well, that is all that matters.  You don’t have to live with the man.  Just because she and her husband doesn’t see things the way you do, doesn’t mean they are wrong or that he is dumb.  It wouldn’t hurt to put your feelings to the side and spend a little time with them.  You might learn something.  There is a lot to be said for the simpler life.  Hard work and living close to nature can be very satisfying and nurture your soul.  Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda,  My twenty-eight-year old daughter is heavily into drug-use.  She and her five-year-old daughter, Jasmine, have always lived with me.  My daughter,  Vanessa,  never held a job or lived a responsible life, though from time to time, she does better than others.  I tolerate her in my home, though she has stolen from me, because I don’t have legal custody of her daughter.  Though Vanessa, has had arrests, she has never been incarcerated, nor lost  parental privileges.  She uses her daughter as a hostage to manipulate me into giving her money quite often.  My greatest fear is that she will take Jasmine and run.  What can I do to protect Jasmine?  Distraught Grandma

Dear Distraught,  Probably  wouldn’t hurt to talk to lawyer just in case Vanessa escalates.  Any chance of intervention or rehab?  Auntie Linda Linda

Auntie