A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says, “Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bust-line forty-four.”
Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return.
This time the husband crossed his fingers and says, “Mirror, mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor.”
Again, there is a bright flash and……….both his legs fall off.
A cat dies and goes to Heaven. He meets Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates who greets him. “Welcome to Heaven. You’ve been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.”
The cat answered, ”Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.”
Saint Peter says, “Say no more.” Instantly, a fluffy pillow appears.
A few days later, six mice are killed in a tragic accident and go to Heaven. Saint Peter meets them at the gate with the same offer that he made the cat. The mice said, ‘All our lives we’ve had to run. We’ve been chased by cats, dogs and even women with brooms. If we could only have roller skates, we wouldn’t have to run anymore.
Saint Peter says, “Say no more.” Instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.
About a week later, Saint Peter decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. Saint Peter gently wakes him and asks, ‘How are you ? Are you happy here?’ The cat yawns and stretches ‘Oh, I’ve never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you’ve been sending over are best.