When in doubt – buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.Rule #2:
If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word
ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. “Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?” “OK. By the way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?” Again, no one knows why.
Rule #3:
If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.
Rule #4:
Do not buy men socks, ties, or bathrobes. “If God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn’t have invented underwear.”
Rule #5:
You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.
Rule #6:
Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. Real men drink whiskey or beer.
Rule #7:
Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant.
Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. “Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink.” You get the idea. No one knows why.Rule #9:
Never buy a man anything that says “some assembly required” on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over.
Rule #10:
Good places to shop for men include Bass Pro Shop, Harbor Freight, Home Depot, Lowes, RV Centers, and Tractor Supply Company. NAPA Auto Parts and Clearance Centers are also excellent men’s stores. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t know what it is. “From NAPA Auto,eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn’t this a starter for a ’68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.”
Rule #11
Men enjoy danger. That’s why they never cook but they will barbecue. Get him a monster grill with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. “Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?” If he already has a grill, definitely get him a turkey fryer. Be ready to video.
Rule #12:
Tickets to a game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to “A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts.” Everyone knows why.
Rule #13:
Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don’t know why – please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he gets a label maker.
Rule #14:
It’s hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.
Rule #15:
Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8″ manilla rope. No one knows why.
I so relate to the label maker! Why on earth would someone need to label keys? I mean if you have to label keys to know what they are, should you even be driving? Great list Linda!
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Thanks. Went to my brother’s house. One of the kids had labeled the commode. Now that was useful info.
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Haha! Can you imagine if we all got our own Clapper? Why aren’t men into those? Probably because they don’t like asking for directions. ( oh dear, some people might not know what The Clapper is.) but men wouldn’t like those- it’s like your announcing to everyone that YOUR ASKING FOR DIRECTIONS! I like the idea of labeling the commode. Especially for boys.
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Good point
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This is absolutely delightful, hilarious!
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Thx
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Wlcm 🙂
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Loved this. We recently moved country for a gap year that may become permanent. All out stuff is in a storage unit in London. One of the first stores were visited regularly in Australia was the hardware store and soon acquired a collection of screwdrivers, and small tools. Luckily we are renting so no need for drills or chainsaws yet.
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Thx for reading and commenting.
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Reblogged this on Morpethroad and commented:
I thought this very funny….and I only have one cordless drill…..
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Thanks. I hope you score a few more.
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I come from a family of builders as both my dad and my brother are builders but unfortunately the gods didn’t give me any of the builder gene so my one drill sits in a box in pretty much pristine condition.But its an impressive box I have to say….
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Those building hormones may kick in any minute.
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I wont be holding my breath…
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With the current remote, he drives me crazy. *I* would go wild and flip out — the rest are cool and valid but NO number 5 for me! LOL (Thanks for the chuckles, love your writing style and sense of humor!)
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Thanks for reading and commenting
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Bass Pro Shop & Gander Mountain. Cannot go wrong at either!
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That’s what I heard.
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Three Stooges bottle opener that Nyuk, Nyuks, when you use it. A great guy gift and I’ve got one.
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One time someone gave my dad a jackass cigarette gadget. When you pressed the donkey’s head down, his tail popped up and a cigarette popped out. He also got a big mouth cat ashtray that let smoke out the cat’s nostrils. Those were both big hits.
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Some of the best suggestions…Ever ! Love the cheap gifts for the car idea..stop at a gas station, and make him happy ??? My kids always got their dad gift certificates…book stores and hardware stores…no need for anything else. He must have 15 socket sets..not sure why ? ☺
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If you get past being sentimental, it’s easy.
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Best pressies I gave Hubby were a Tom and Jerry movie key ring (£1), a Love a Duck plastic duck, and anything in the chocolate line. He’s very easy to please!
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The worst thing for mine is clothes.
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Ha…. Hubby and I both shop in the men’s department of a chain store. I refuse to pay £8 for a tee shirt when a man’s is only £2.50 and fits me better anyway!
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Me too. Don’t forget Goodwill.
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Sadly it’s rare we find things to suit in the UK equivalent, but we do look!
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That’s too bad. Thrift shops are great here.
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Haha! Love it!
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Thanks
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You nailed it. Ha!
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My wife has a panic attack every time I break out the chainsaw. What could go wrong?
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She’s such a wuss.
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Hahaha! I know, right? I’m c’mon, what’s the worst thing that could happen? She likes having a fire on a cool night, so…
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Tell her you’ll just wait and do it next time she goes somewhere. She’ll never leave the house again.
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No doubt! 😃
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haha! I love 11. Yes, it’s extremely dangerous – and exciting.
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But don’t grill wearing a bathrobe. If you don’t like grills, you could get a turkey fryer and video.
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Ahh. I hadn’t thought of that. Good safety tip! Another suggestion would be a book. As long as it doesn’t have a lot of words.
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And lots of pictures. One year I got my husband a Far Side Collection. The kids and I fought over it till Christmas. By Christmas morning, we couldn’t find it.
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lol! Loved Gary Larson. My best friend got me a double hardcover set of the Best of Mad Magazine. That had lots of pictures, too. 😀
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Now that’s a great gift.
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they actually make bath robes for men???
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No, it’s a stupid rumor!
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