Evening Chuckle

Bug flew into a barn

A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow’s ear. The farmer didn’t think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket. It went in one ear and out the udder.

Dem’ smart city folk

A man from the city is out plowing his field and gets his tractor stuck in the wet ground.

A farmer driving by stops his truck and walks to the fence to call over the city feller. You need a mule to plow such wet ground he says.

“Where can I buy one?” he is asked.

Well, I just happened to have one for 100 dollars he says.

“I’ll take him,” says the other man as he counts out the money.

I can’t bring him over today. I don’t work on Sunday morrow OK?

“Sure.”

The next day the truck pulls up and the old farmer gets out. He says, “sorry, bad news.”

I went out after breakfeast and the mule was dead.

The city feller says just give me my money back then.

“Can’t, spent it already!”

“Well… unload the mule then.”

“What ya gonna do with him?”

“Raffle him off!”

“Naw, ya cant raffle off a dead mule!”

“Just watch me us! City fellers know a few tricks.”

One month goes by and the city feller and farmer run into each other at the barber shop.

“What did ya do with that dead mule?”

“Raffled him off, sold 100 tickets at two dollars each and made 98 dollars profit.”

“Didn’t anyone complain?”

“Just one guy so I gave him his two dollars back!”

Two men were walking through the woods and came upon a big black, deep hole. One man picked up a rock and tossed it into the hole and stood listening for the rock to hit bottom. There was no sound.
He turned to the other guy and said “that must be a deep hole…let’s throw a bigger rock in there and listen for it to hit bottom.” The men found a bigger rock and both picked it up and lugged it to the hole and dropped it in.
They listened for some time and never heard a sound. Again, they agreed that this must be one deep hole and maybe they should throw something even bigger into it.
One man spotted a rail-road tie nearby. They picked up the tie, grunting and groaning, and lugged it to the hole. They tossed it in. No sound. All of a sudden, a goat came flying out of the woods, running like the wind, and flew past the men and jumped straight into the hole. The men were amazed.
About that time, an old hayseed farmer came out of the woods and asked the men if they had seen a goat. One man told the farmer of the incredible incident they had just witnessed…they had just seen this goat fly out of the woods and run and leap into the big hole. The man asked the farmer if this could have been his goat.
The old farmer said “naw, that can’t be my goat…he was chained to a railroad tie.”

7 thoughts on “Evening Chuckle

  1. Sorry! Couldn’t resist ๐Ÿ™‚

    Actually yes, I have milked a cow. Impressed uh? ๐Ÿ˜‰ During my childhood years the family would holiday each year at a small caravan park located on a Welsh Dairy Farm. The children staying on the farm were actively encouraged to assist in all manner of ways around the farm that could be adequately supervised. This was well before Health and Safety legislation introduced much stricter regimes…so there was chance to ‘enjoy’ childhood adventures more readily: steering the tractor and riding in open top trailers were my particular favourites of course ๐Ÿ™‚ I favoured the early morning milking more so than the afternoon/evening, and would happily return with a full jug of creamy fresh milk before the others awoke and help myself to a first breakfast, which I felt entitled to as reward for waking so early. Whilst the farm was semi-automated, a cow or two would be set off to one side for willing participants to milk by hand. It does take a little practice and feels most peculiar at first, but with effort and a patient farm-hand there to demonstrate and assist with technique, I managed to get the hang of it pretty quickly. However, one learns even quicker how to get out of the way when the tail lifts and a cow’s bowels open! I was caught out by this charming facet of milking cow’s just once, and yes, once was certainly enough, thank you for asking lol ๐Ÿ™‚

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  2. Hey Linda,

    You are most welcome, and know how much I always enjoy the laughter here ๐Ÿ™‚

    As luck would have it, I found an opportunity to share the first joke at work this morning whilst in the calf-eteria and someone asked for milk. I think the joke went down pretty well, except the bug of course: a few said they’d herd it before, one or two thought it udderly hilarious, others that it teetered on funny, and a couple who even asked if I were just milking the moment ๐Ÿ˜€

    Namaste

    DN – 17/09/2015

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  3. Hey Linda,

    ๐Ÿ˜€ Three jokes for the price of one Evening Chuckle and each of them a good giggle, now that is what I call value for money!

    Thanks for posting them! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Namaste

    DN – 16/09/2015

    Like

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