Dear Auntie Linda, Septenber 19, 2015

Auntie LindaDear Auntie Linda,  I grew up on my parent’s four-hundred acre farm.  My dad died at age of fifty before it was half paid for, leaving his portion to her.  Mom had to move off  the farm to get a paying job since the it had been her livelihood and couldn’t run it alone.   She leased the house and acreage, sold the timber, equipment, and cattle and finally paid  it off, though it took her several years.  She wanted to sell it, but two of the kids stalled her because they wanted to buy it.  By this time, Mom’s mind was slipping.   Unknown to the rest of the family, they talked to her down to a ridiculously low price and quickly settled the deal.  Almost immediately, Mom’s health failed and she died.  Two other sisters quickly went through Mom’s personal items, checking and savings accounts, and took her jewelry and items in her safe deposit box.  This left nothing for the rest of us.  Now, the family, is totally fractured.  We can’t even have a holiday meal together.  I do wish Mom had left a will.  It would have saved a lot of pain and hard feelings.  Heartbroken

Dear Heartbroken,   You are so right.  An airtight will and an honest lawyer would have really helped.  Even if people don’t have valuable property, family members will fight over tiny things.  I knew of two sisters who fell out over a pickle dish , thimble, and a yearbook.  If you don’t leave a will, at least leave a list.  Auntie Linda

Auntie Linda, I am nineteen with a two-year girl, Susie, and have just found I am pregnant with my second.  My boyfriend Reggie, is thirty-seven and was married previously with three teenage daughters he doesn’t see because they are tramps, like their mama.   Our relationship is extremely rocky.  He says he will marry me if this baby is a boy, but if it’s another girl he’s leaving me.  He has no interest in Susie.  My parents say he is abusive, but he’s not really that bad.  My parents want me to move back home and go back to school so I can make it on my own,  but I love him and think things might get better if I have a boy.   I don’t think I can make it on my own.  What do you think?  Girl’s Mama

Dear Mama, It a sad thing to see more value placed on boys than girls.  You are in a precarious position.  Even if this guy should hang around, people who love him are in for a rough time unless he has a character transplant.  His history doesn’t forecast a happy future for his families.   Hopefully, you realize your worth and get in a position to make a good life for yourself and your children.  I am glad you have your parents’ support.  Good luck.  Auntie Linda