The backyard campout was all Billy and his friends could talk about. My cousin Sue and I furiously watched them build a tent out of old quilts stretched over the clothesline, furious we couldn’t camp out with them. No girls allowed! Continue reading
Reblogged from Erika Kind
Friends Billy-Ray and Joe-Bob were bored, so they decided to visit the bingo hall in town. Billy-Ray won a bottle of BBQ sauce, and Joe-Bob won a toilet brush. The next week, the boys got together again.
“Did you try that sauce yet?” asked Joe-bob. “Yeah” said Billy-Ray, “I put it on some ribs and they were good! How about you? You like your toilet brush?”
“Nah” said Billy-Joe, “It makes my butt sore. I think I’ll go back to toilet paper.”
|Murphy lay in hospital covered in bandages head to foot – with just two little slits for his eyes.
‘What happened to you?’ asked Cassidy.
‘I staggered out of the pub and a lorry hit me a glancing blow and knocked me through a plate glass window.’
‘Begod,’ said Cassidy. ‘It’s a good job you were wearing those bandages or you’d have been cut to ribbons!’
Don’t ever watch infomercials when you’re bored and your wallet is handy. Had a cold a few weeks ago, was flipping channels, and happened on a commercial for Smarty-Kitty, a product that will train a cat of any age to use the toilet. I didn’t need Smarty-Kitty. Squeaky, my ragdoll cat is five years old and up until I interfered with his life at that point, had never had an accident. Well, naturally, I got busy and ordered Smarty-Kitty and the Continue reading
Dear Auntie Linda, About 8 years ago my mother moved in with my brother and his partner and sold her home; because it was paid off, she got a hefty amount of money. She told my brother to manage it for her. Around that same time I was forced to leave my job due to severe back problems. I was having to go on disability and knew I would be having to live on significantly less money. I was telling my brother that I was going to ask my children if they would purchase my home and property so that I could pay off some credit card bills. He told me that he thought mom would give me that amount of money and it would be considered my early inheritance. He talked to my mom and my other siblings and they all agreed to this. I made doubly sure they agreed to it before I allowed it to happen. The bills were quickly paid off and that was that. I have been able to remain in my home because of my agreement.
First woman in space: “Houston, we have a problem.” What? “Never mind.” What’s the problem? “Nothing.” Please tell us. “I’m fine.”First woman in space: “Houston, we have a problem.” What? “Never mind.” What’s the problem? “Nothing.” Please tell us. “I’m fine.”
GOD said, Adam, I want you to do something for me. Gladly, Lord, replied Adam. What do you want me to do? Go down into the valley. What’s a valley? asked Adam. God explained to him, then said, Cross the river. What’s a river? God explained it to him, and then continued, Go over the hill . What’s a hill? God explained to Adam what a hill was, then said, On the other side of the hill, you will find a cave. What’s a cave? After God explained, he said, In the cave you will find a woman. Adam asked, What’s a woman? So God explained that to him too. He continued, I want you to reproduce. How do I do that? Jeez, God muttered under his breath. He then sighed and explained the birds and the bees to Adam. He liked that concept very much, so he went down into the valley, across the river, over the hill and into the cave where he found a woman. A little while later, Adam returned and asked God, What’s a headache?
The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, “You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly.” On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, “Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?” “Yes”, the boy’s mother answered. “And how is your son now?” the psychiatrist asked. “Who cares?” the mother replied.
A man and a woman are lying in bed, watching the ceiling and keep quiet. What are they thinking? The woman thinks, “He’s quiet. He doesn’t want to talk. May be he’s get tired of me. He doesn’t love me anymore. He’s probably got someone else. He will be leaving me soon.”
The man thinks, “A fly. A fly on the ceiling. Wow! How does it stay up there.”
Re logged from Catterall.
A series of posts about Laundry in the 1950’s by Ibeth at Nutsrok brought back memories for me. https://nutsrok.wordpress.com/2015/10/08/laundry-in-the-1950s-part-1/
I remember, when I was first married and lived in a flat in Germany in the 1960’s, that we had a front-loading washing machine in the basement, which was shared by all tenants according to a rota. My recollection is that I was allowed to use it once a month, which seems strange as the usual system, still operating today in most of Europe, is that each apartment tenant is allocated a half day every week. Maybe I just used to forget when it was my turn. I know I used it a couple of times, feeding the machine with tokens bought for 20 Pfennig each from the “Hausdrachen” (house dragon or concierge) a ferocious little middle-aged woman who hated me because I was English. One load…
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