Once two ladies came before King Solomon, fighting over a boy. “He’s my son-in law” one said “No he’s mine” countered the other. After thinking for a few minutes the King finally decided on a ruling. “Bring me my sword and we will cut the boy in half, they will each get half.” “No” the first lady screamed “don’t cut him in half I would rather the second lady get the whole son-in-law.” Ah Hah said King Solomon with a big smile I now know who is the real mother-in-law. For a only the real mother-in-law would stand quietly while her son-in-law gets cut in half.”
“Hi Sarah, listen I only have a minute. I’m about to get picked up for a blind date, can you call me in a half hour just in case it’s going bad? Yes? Ok great! We’ll speak.”
Raquel gave herself a quick spray of perfume, checked herself out one more time in the mirror, and headed outside to wait for the guy.
Sure enough after twenty minutes Raquel was discreetly checking her watch. After ten more long minutes her phone finally buzzed.
Raquel listened for a few seconds, grimly pursed her lips, and turned to her date, “I feel terrible, but my Grandmother is terribly sick, and I must go home now .”
“Ok everyone,” said the the instructor at the birthing class trying to get everyone’s attention. “We are going to do an exercise now, that’s purpose is to help the men sympathize with their partners.”
“We have here what’s called a pregnancy suit,” said the woman instructor, holding up an artificial stomach with a strap. “This imitates the feeling of being pregnant.” Which Husband volunteers to be the first one to try it on?”
“I will” said one man, taking the suit and trying it on. “This isn’t too bad said the man walking around. I think I could get used to this.” “Ok”, said the instructor smiling, “now I would like you to bend down and pick up my pen from the floor.”
“You want me to pick it up?” he said hesitantly, “just as I would if I was pregnant?” “Yes!” said the instructor.
“Honey,” said the man turning to his spouse “do you mind picking up that pen for me?”