Joke of the Day

funny-cartoonFirst woman in space: “Houston, we have a problem.” What? “Never mind.” What’s the problem? “Nothing.” Please tell us. “I’m fine.”First woman in space: “Houston, we have a problem.” What? “Never mind.” What’s the problem? “Nothing.” Please tell us. “I’m fine.”

GOD said, “Adam, I want you to do something for me.” “Gladly, Lord,” replied Adam. “What do you want me to do?” “Go down into the valley.” “What’’s a valley?” asked Adam. God explained to him, then said, Cross the river.” “What’’s a river?” God explained it to him, and then continued, “Go over the hill…”. “What’’s a hill?” God explained to Adam what a hill was, then said, “On the other side of the hill, you will find a cave.” “What’’s a cave?” After God explained, he said, “In the cave you will find a woman.” Adam asked, “What’’s a woman?” So God explained that to him too. He continued, “I want you to reproduce.” “How do I do that?” “Jeez,” God muttered under his breath. He then sighed and explained the birds and the bees to Adam. He liked that concept very much, so he went down into the valley, across the river, over the hill and into the cave where he found a woman.” A little while later, Adam returned and asked God, “What’’s a headache?”

The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, “You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly.” On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, “Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?” “Yes”, the boy’s mother answered. “And how is your son now?” the psychiatrist asked. “Who cares?” the mother replied.

A man and a woman are lying in bed, watching the ceiling and keep quiet. What are they thinking? The woman thinks, “He’s quiet. He doesn’t want to talk. May be he’s get tired of me. He doesn’t love me anymore. He’s probably got someone else. He will be leaving me soon.”

The man thinks, “A fly. A fly on the ceiling. Wow! How does it stay up there.”

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31 thoughts on “Joke of the Day

  1. The cartoon reminds me of my favorite joke —
    Three women stranded on a desert island find a bottle – get a genie (don’t they all start this way). Anyway, 3 women, 3 wishes – so one a piece
    First woman wants to be the most beautiful person in the world – POOF – none can come close
    Second woman wants to be the richest person in the world – POOF – she’s now very very rich
    Third woman decides the first two thinking too small. She wished to be the smartest person in the world. – POOF – she turned into a man….
    (don’t throw things – I’m just sharing 😉 )

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Funny! Probably humor will help people to see the light. I like the “who cares” and we can turn the world off, except for children, they always need us! Maybe you’ve hit something relevant here especially for America with all our guns and shootings, possibly that’s the attitude towards children the adults have is “who cares.” Somethings amiss and I think it begins with a lack of caring, somebody else’s problem. Hey, sorry for the serious response. Actually, I love a good laugh!

    Like

  3. So so morbid. Sometimes we have to look at this in a different light or suffer. You definitely look at things in a different light. The last joke is the funniest thing ever. One person sees one thing the other another.
    Mental illness another issue.

    Liked by 1 person

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