Fancy Dan, the Coffee Man


We splurged and bought a Fancy Dan coffee maker in 1987.  It was heavenly staggering into the kitchen to find a carafe of freshly made coffee waiting at five in the morning.  True love!  We enjoyed it precisely one month before we got a recall notice and a gift certificate for a replacement to use while we waited for the fine new Fancy Dan.  It seems the original was setting houses on fire.

We went into mourning and trashed Fancy Dan, picking up his replacement, a very plain model.  About a year later, our new Fancy Dan arrived.  Dan had our steaming coffee waiting when we awoke.  All we had to do was “sasser and blow it.”  It saved our marriage.  Alas, a mere six joyful months later we received word that this model was also likely to be an arsonist.  Out came the plain old replacement model till we made it to the store with our gift certificate for a new pot.

Since1987, that faithful coffee-maker has one back on the shelf six times, only to be called back into service when the fancy new one failed.  Less than a month ago, we were once again seduced by a coffee-maker with lots of great features.  It had a water filter, reuseable basket instead of filters, several cup size settings, and a beeper to let us know when coffee was brewed.  Of course, it would have our coffee ready when we got up, which by now, we had no intention of using, having no wish to roast in our bed.

We hurried home and moved Old Faithful back to the shelf.  We couldn’t wait for the first pot.  As soon as we hit the brew button, water poured all over the counter.  We reseated the pot and tried again.  We were rewarded with a second gusher.

Old Faithful went right back to work.  When I’m gone, my kids can draw straws to see who gets Old Faithful.  The loser gets the family fortune.

19 thoughts on “Fancy Dan, the Coffee Man

  1. Funny. I remember those coffee makers, too.
    We have had very good luck with coffee makers. We’ve gotten 3-5 years out of all of them. I blame the digital components. I love waking up and the coffee being ready. It’s a great motivator. I’d rather have espresso (machines we’ve NOT had good luck with) or coffee from the press, but neither of those will go to work while I sleep.
    That French press has never failed me once, though…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I bought Danny a fancy Cuisinart with a bean grinder and he loves it. However, he had it a couple of years before we figured out how to shut the damned annoying beep off. If we accidentally hit the button to turn it on, this annoying beep would start and nothing short of unplugging it would stop the noise. Finally, Danny figured out that its beeping because there’s no pot in place. lol Now you would think that would keep the gusher from happening all over the counter and floor, wouldn’t you? However, Danny who perfects his coffee making routine has some reason why he starts the process without the pot in place and puts the pot under “just in time”. Yes, he does sometimes forget and we get gusher. He makes the coffee that I store in a container in the fridge on “old faithful” and has a tendency to put the pot in place and I can be heard yelling “Danny, you forgot to put the pot on the coffee maker!” as I start cleaning up the mess. He can be heard yelling, “Shit!” and running into the kitchen.😆

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  3. I had a similar experience with digital alarm clocks (not a single one made coffee by the way). With the first, the digital display failed within 2 months. With the replacement, the date wouldn’t set. With the third, the radio kept changing channels when on ‘sleep’. The fourth couldn’t tell the time and the alarm would go off whenever it felt like it. Finally, the fifth had no date function, a basic alarm and a snooze facility. The Ex got custody of that one, so I have no idea if there were any more problems!

    Liked by 1 person

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