Dear Auntie Linda, Our daughter Becky is bipolar and has been married three times. She and her first husband David have two children of whom David has sole custody. We all live in the same small town. We loved David and welcomed him as a son. He has always come for all holidays since he has no parents and considers us family. We were devastated when Becky left him for another man. She has been very unstable, in and out of relationships and more or less dropped out of family activities after her marriage to David broke up. She just married #3 about a month ago. He seems okay, but time will tell. The problem is, Becky has asked us to ask David to just drop the children off so she and #3 can celebrate with “just family.” We refuse to do this, since he is the primary parent and the children have never celebrated without him. Also, he is extremely generous at sharing the children with us, letting them visit any time we ask. We can’t afford to jeopardize our relationship with the children just to please her. Becky is furious, saying we’ve chosen David over her. She says she won’t come if David is there. What do we say? Torn
Dear Torn, When two people have children, they will have a relationship for life, like it or not. The children’s needs are most important. Tell Becky, “Dinner is at noon just as planned. Hope you can make it!” Auntie Linda
Dear Auntie Lnda, My husband and Mother dislike each other. I am caught between them. Mama picks for information about family, and he responds hatefully. I am caught between two difficult people. They complain to me about the other. I have come to dread Mama’s visits. Sometimes, I would like to pinch both hands off. How do you handle two ornery people.
Dear hate it.refuse to get involved, they probably won’t notice.