Joke of the Day

The Doctor was puzzled ‘I’m very sorry Mr O’Flaherty, but I can’t diagnose your trouble. I think it must be drink.’

‘Don’t worry about it Dr Cullen, I’ll come back when you’re sober.’ said O’ Flaherty.

More Examples of a Funny Irish One-Liners

• Where were you going when I saw you coming back?
• I ran after you, but when I caught up to you you’d gone.
• ‘What’s wrong with Murphy?’ asked Father Green. ‘I don’t know, Father. Yesterday he swallowed a spoon and he hasn’t stirred since,’ said Mrs Murphy.
• ‘How far is it to the next village?’ asked the American tourist. ‘It’s about seven miles,’ guessed the farmer. ‘But it’s only five if you run!’
• ‘I’m the unluckiest person in the whole world,’ moaned Betty McGrath. ‘I bought a non-stick pan and can’t get the label off.’
• ‘I’d like some nails,’ Mick requested of the ravelling tinker. ‘How long would you like them?’ asked the man. ‘Forever, if that’s all right with you,’ said Mick.
• ‘The baby is just like his father,’ said Mary Quinn. ‘But at least he’s got his health!’
• ‘I was going to give him a nasty look but he already had one!’

Things that only the illogical Irish would say:

1. ‘You three are a right pair if ever I saw one!’
2. ‘How come every time you ring a wrong number it’s never engaged?’
3. ‘Spread out in a bunch.’
4. ‘Hello, Mary, how’s your new false teeth?’ asked Bridget. ‘I’m leaving them out till I get used to them!’ said Mary.