Best Birthday Jokes of the Day

Birthday1 birthday2 birthday3birthday2birthday3I much prefer being over the hill to being under it. – Bruce Lansky

 

The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet…

 

Did you hear about the time Eddy’s sister tried to make a birthday cake? The candles melted in the oven.

 

Growing old is inevitable. Growing up is optional.

 

It’s not about age, it’s about attitude.

 

When I was a child my family was so poor that the only thing I got on my birthday was a year older.

 

It’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present. “Oh, I don’t know”, she said. “Just give me something with diamonds”. That’s why I’m giving her a pack of playing cards.

 

If there are 23 people in a room, there’s a 50% chance that two of them will share a birthday (it’s been proven mathematically).

 

What did George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common? They were all born on holidays.

 

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

 

A well adjusted woman is one who not only knows what she wants for her birthday, but even knows what she’s going to exchange it for.

 

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. – Lucille Ball

 

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. – Jennifer Yane

 

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age. – Robert Frost

 

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

 

A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip!

 

You were born an original. Don’t die a copy. – John Mason

 

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. – Bob Hope

 

Something happened to me yesterday that will never, ever, happen to me again. How can you be so sure? I was 10 years old yesterday.

 

It’s been scientifically proven that too many birthdays can kill you.

 

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