Found on internet
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What are you charged with?”
“Doing my Christmas shopping early”, replied the defendant.
“That’s no offense”, said the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”
Funny Letters to Santa
Here, Will and Guy bring you some amusing correspondence to Santa Claus, Father Christmas, Pere Noel. We hope that these letters, which we have discovered on the internet will entertain you.
A Real Santa Claus Talks About His Role
Carl Anderson has been Santa Claus for 28 seasons, at last he has revealed what we already suspected.
Kids can be hilarious and heart-breaking and he’s got some perfect tales to illustrate it write Will and Guy. Beyond the expected requests for the latest Barbie and video game, kids have whispered into Santa Carl Anderson’s ear their desire for world peace and their pain at their parents’ breakups.
‘Kids see Santa as someone they can confide in,’ Anderson, 57 informs us. One little girl simply wanted a chair so she could write in a “little diarrhoea” at her desk. ‘Of course she meant diary, but the misspeaks are pretty funny,’ added Anderson.
Children’s musings are often more serious, and reflect what’s going on in the news, or at home.
A boy pleaded for lots of toys for terrorists so they ‘wouldn’t hate us so much,’ says Anderson. Yet another little one, ‘…wanted money to help mom pay the bills because she worries so much.’
It’s not easy being Santa. I”s hard on the body and on the heart. ‘I feel for them a lot,’ says Anderson. ‘It’s hard when kids ask me to get their mommy and daddy to love each other again or when they want someone who is sick to recover. I tell them I can’t promise anything but I will make it my wish for them – and I do,’ he adds. ‘Santa is a symbol of hope. They know he’ll always be there and care about them and want the best for them.’
Short, Clean Hilarious and Funny Letters to Santa Claus
Dear Santa,
Please give me a doll this year. I would like her to eat, walk, do my homework, and help me clean my room.
Thank you, Jenny
Dear Santa,
Thanks for the race car last year. Can I have another one, only this time one that is faster than my best friend’s race car?
Ricky
Dear Father Christmas,
I wish you could leave a puzzle under the tree for me. And a toy for my sister. Then she won’t want to play with mine and I can have it to myself.
Merry Christmas, Cassie
Dear Santa,
You can send me one of everything from the boys’ section of the Sears catalogue. But nothing from the girls’ section. I can’t wait for Christmas to come.
Kent
Dear Pere Noel,
Could you come early this year? I’ve been really super good, but I don’t know if I can last much longer. Please hurry.
Love, Jordan
Θ
Dear Santa,
I lost my list of toys, so please just send me the stuff that you forgot from last year.
Todd
Dear Father Christmas,
What should I leave for your reindeer to eat? Do they like cookies, too? My mom won’t let me bring hay into the living room.
Your friend, Sandy
Dear Santa,
I need a new skateboard for Christmas. The one I got now crashes too much. Band-aids would be OK too.
David
Dear Santa,
Would you rather I leave you cookies and milk or pizza? Dad says you’d probably like the pizza. Write back right away to let me know.
Love, Lisa
Dear Kris Kringle,
Please give me a tank, a jet fighter, 20 green soldiers, and a bazooka gun. I’m planning a surprise attack on my brother. So don’t tell anyone.
Thanks, Danny
Dear Santa,
How will you get into our house this year? We don’t have a chimney and my father just installed a very expensive security system.
Julie
›
More Amusing Dear Santa Letters
Dear Santa,
Mommy says that you only bring presents for the good little boys. That isn’t fair.
Brian
Dear Santa,
How old are you? How did you meet Mrs Claus? Is your first name really Santa? Can I be an elf next year? Who is your favourite kid? How do you fit all those toys in your sleigh? I have more questions for later.
Your pal, Pauline
Dear Father Christmas,
My mother told me to write to you and say thanks for the train set. My dad plays with it all the time.
Mike
And finally Will and Guy’s favourite:
Dear Santa,
I would like just one of everything.
Thank you. Nancy
Reblogged this on that little voice and commented:
Enjoy some humor as you make last minute preparations for your holiday celebration. Thanks to nutsrok.wordpress.com.
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Thanks so much.
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One of everything isn’t too much to ask, is it?
😀 😀
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Absolutely not. Ask with one hand and spit in the other.
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Loved the letters to Santa. Happy holidays! ❤
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I did, too. Thanks.
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This is funny but children interpret conversations very differently than we as parents do. Be careful what you say in front of them, they worry just like us. Bless their little hearts.
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I tried to explain to my daughter about gift giving, that you have to make choices and need to buy for your nearest and dearest, first. i.e. Grandmother is higher n list than school friend. She thought I meant you spent the most on people who spend the most on you.
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Reblogged this on Nutsrok and commented:
Ho Ho Ho
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Great laughs for a morning. I get a little grinchy this time of year. Thanks for the boost.
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You are welcome. I do enjoy Thanksgiving more, all the pleasure, none of the pressure!
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One of my brothers had a tradition. He’d have few drinks, then go out on Christmas eve and do all of his shopping, without a plan. My kids always enjoyed the gifts !! ☺ They might do well to serve alcohol at the mall.
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If I ever have a store, I’ll remember that!
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Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
More festive fun to get you in the mood.. If you have still to write to Santa then here is some guidance from Linda Bethea at Nutsrok.. brilliant.
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Thanks so much.
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Adorable.
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I chuckled when I read that Santa was accused of calling one woman a ‘ho’, but the smile was wiped off my face when I read about what serious issues children tell Santa about. Christmas is the time to be merry, we are told, but it’s also a time when problems seem to be magnified.
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It is a hard hard time for so many.
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a little touch of sadness to balance things out…
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