Ask Auntie Linda, Straight Talk from a Straight Shooter

Dear Auntie Linda, Reggie and I have been seeing each other off and on for a year.  He says he doesn’t love me, but I know he does.  Every time he leaves me, he ends up coming back to cry on my shoulder.  Why would he keep coming back if he didn’t love me?  The sex is wonderful, but we he never stays long afterward.  I want a real relationship and want to meet his family and friends, but he says he’s not ready for that.  I was offered a job in another city, but he has told me not to take it or I won’t see him any more.  I really hate to turn the job down, but am willing to if Reggie will commit.    I want him more than anything.  Do you think if I gave him an ultimatum, it would make a difference?  In Love

Dear In Love, if Reggie says he doesn’t love you, he doesn’t.  You are fooling yourself.  He keeps coming back when he needs sex with no commitment or investment.  Do yourself a favor and get rid of him, whether or not you take the new job.  Don’t waste anymore time on a man who has no interest in you beyond sex.  You deserve better.  Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda,  My step-brother and I got reacquainted at my stepfather’s funeral after not seeing each other except rarely since I was thirteen and he was twenty.  He lived with his mother in Nebraska and I lived with my mother and stepfather in Indiana and our paths didn’t cross a lot.   When I got a job in New York City, we became friends.  Since then, we’ve fallen for each other.  My mother hit the ceiling when We told her we plan to marry.  She says it’s not decent and says she will be ashamed to tell any of her friends.  She says people will think we were carrying on since we were kids in the house together.  I have reminded her that we hardly knew each other, but she said it is disgusting.  I love my mother, but she is very manipulative and difficult.  I feel she is wrong to put roadblocks in our path.  She also threatened to disown my sister when she married outside my mother’s faith, even though it was not my sister’s faith.  She became resigned to that marriage, though she is not warm to my brother-in-law.  Is there any reason we shouldn’t marry?  Two-steps

Dear Two-steps,  There is no reason you shouldn’t marry.  People will think what they want, but you don’t owe anyone explanations.  Chances are, your mother would offer objections no matter who you choose to marry.  You will just have to decide for yourself, but her objections don’t sound credible.  Auntie Linda