.https://nutsrok.wordpress.com/2016/01/05/the-low-down-on-lunch-with-mother/
Travels With Mother (Part 2)
The Most Fun You’ll Never Have, Kathleen’s Amazing Bathroom Tour!
God was with us. We got to our destination, Hot Springs, Arkansas without a lot more drama. We checked into our room, a nice suite with two king-sized beds and an extra bed for the fifth in our party. For some reason, though it was 104 degrees, we freshened up a bit before going out to see the town, allowing us to start out with a less vintage sweat. Within minutes, we were rank. Not to be deterred by a little thing like heat exhaustion, we explored every shop on Main Street, till Mother found a little shop selling belly-dancing costumes. She wouldn’t be budged. Now, as I’ve said before, Mother is tight. She had no intention of making such a frivolous purchase, but had to admire herself in one. Every inch of the stifling shop was crammed with exotic outfits with no space devoted to dressing rooms. The proprietor obviously didn’t expect belly-dancers to be overly modest. Not to be denied, Mother just slipped her favorite on over her clothes, despite the heavy customer traffic. She is a little old church lady, after all. I would never have expected so much business in a store selling belly-dancing costumes.
Mother had us hold her things while she tottered and struggled into her racy choice, bumping customers at every turn. They had to have thought her mind was gone and we should have looked out for her better, or that we were in geriatric sex-trade, pimping her out to some perverted creature with a fetish for demented, antique belly-dancers. Neither choice made us look good. Eventually, she pranced a bit and had us take a picture or two for her Sunday School Class, before being convinced to leave. The store clerk was not amused by any of this, but I figured if she thought she was big enough to straighten Mother out, she could go for it. I know when I am whipped.
An amused motorcycle guy and his girlfriend were taking all this in and invited Mother to meet their friends waiting on their bikes just outside. I think the burly guys exact words were, “She reminds me so much of my mama!” With him as Mother’s escort, we escaped the wrath of the store owner who was obviously thought it was past time we left.
Mother charmed his friends. Her new friend invited her for a ride, which she refused, but she did climb behind him on his bike to get her picture made. Regretfully, he helped her off, after telling her, “Ma’am, you don’t have to go home with these girls if you don’t want to. We coaxed her away after she exchanged phone numbers and addresses with them, insisting they all come visit.
Later that evening, we made it back to our hotel, only to find the air-conditioning and bathroom both out of order in our room. Mother took charge, went to see the manager, and got us transferred to the only room they had left, the Presidential Suite, complete with a hot-spring bath. I suspect the manager thought, “She reminds me of my mama.” For once, a bathroom drama with Mother worked in our favor.
We enjoyed the rest of our visit. On the way home, my sister Connie hung her purse strap on a toilet handle and broke the toilet in a station. She takes after Mother.
Great post, Linda. This one had me smiling from start to finish. Now I’m laughing out loud. Hope I don’t wake up hubby ☺☺☺
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Just posted another. Maybe this will wake him if the other one didn’t.
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Gosh-I am enjoying hearing about your mom! You do such a good job writing with such humor- oh, by the way . . Good luck! ha!
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Thanks and I need the luck.
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Lol! Would love to be on one of your trips!!!😂 Maybe one of the short ones lol!
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You can.
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I couldn’t stop laughing. Any of your posts with a title that includes “Mother” will have top priority with me from now on!
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More tomorrow. The funny thing is, no matter what I tell about Mother, people end up liking her better and I come off worse. If I took her to the bank to deposit a check and she robbed it, I’d be arrested and the cops would take her for coffee and donuts!
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I’m going to be on your side. You need more of my sympathy than your mother does. Besides, we need you to keep writing about her. I love your sense of humor.
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Oh, thank you! Thank you! I’ll show her.
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Love your mother too 😉
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Thanks
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Reblogged this on Nutsrok.
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Not to be morose but actually somewhat refreshingly meaningful. I was my mother’s home hospice nurse for last six weeks of her life. Our hearts and souls traveled together in mysterious ways as she slowly evaporated into death. It has been three and a half years and the experience of the dimensional travel with her haunts me daily. Well that’s what your post immediately brought to mind for me. We can never imagine how our writing, art and music may strike others.
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I am a nurse , too. I’ve often felt sharing time with people as they start their journey toward death is so important. We are there to greet people joyously as they enter our world. It is equally important to be with them as they leave. That is when we can examine our lives together and finish our business together. Death is not the snuffing out of a candle. It is the dying of an ember.
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great humour and story, I love it that she becomes a bike chick, lucky the guy didn’t just take off with her, he looks very enamoured 🙂
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He probably got off light.
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he he he, another way of seeing it 🙂
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This morning a friend posted on Facebook a saying he had recently heard and loved: “Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass; it’s about learning to dance in the rain.” Seems like you have to do a lot of dancing in the rain!
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That’s the best part!
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OK, so where was this biker’s old lady when this was happening. Wasn’t she worried about the hot babe trying to move in on her man? Or was she too scared of your mom laying a good whupping on her?
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She knew she didn’t have a prayer.
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That’s exactly what I was thinking. Smart woman.
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I have just gotten caught up! These stories are hilarious! I hope you’ll keep them up. Your sweet, little Mama! LOL!!!
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She looks sweet, but she gets the best of me!
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Thanks for the follow! Your blog is a hoot! I’ve had a hard time getting my iPhone to cooperate and let me “like” your posts let alone comment! I’ve read a lot of your posts-it’s the middle of the night. I’m trying not to wake my husband – laughing! Usually I try to find something to help put me back to sleep. This is not that blog! 😁😀😄
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When I grow up, I want to be like your mother! She is awesome! Living life to the fullest. Thanks for sharing this fun story!
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She keeps us on our toes.
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What fun and you can even laugh about it afterwards. Still shots don’t do your mom justice. You need action shots. Hollywood might want to hire her. 🙂 — Suzanne
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I am working on that.
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OMG. That was so funny. What a hoot. I can see where you get your sense of humor!
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So glad you enjoyed.
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I can only imagine at times how much your mother must drive you and your sisters around the bend. But then I can just hear you all laughing and rejoicing in her antics later in the day. And just think of all the material she provides for you!
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I love every minute, especially in the moment”
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She is a keeper!
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Loved it! 🙂
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LBeth,
Both you and your mum are pets.
Susie
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Thanks!
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Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
Linda Bethea treats us to a real life trip with her mama.. so funny with photographs that show what a fiesty mama, mama is.. head over and read and share… too good not to.
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Thanks so much, Sally.
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I simply enjoy reading your adventures. It’s always so fresh and has me in stitches. Your mama is a classic diva by all the miles. That’s the way to live life. Full on.
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I know that’s what you do!
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Bless her heart ❤ she's amazing
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You guys make my day.
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Thanks for reading and commenting
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What a card. I love the way your mama thinks. 😀 😀
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Take her to Newfoundland with you.
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She’d love it there. Bet she’d feel right at home. 😀
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She sounds just like an aunt that I know!
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She is wacko!
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I’ll bet you were voting to sell her to the sex trade about then. What a pistol!
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Too bad. Nobody was hiring that day.
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😦
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It seems like your mother makes friends wherever she goes (except in stores selling belly-dancing gear, of course). She looks good on that bike, by the way.
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Too bad she was too cheap to buy the belly-dance get up. That would have been a perfect picture!
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She might have made even more friends.
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Could be!
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Hahaha! She is so fun! I hope I have that much vim and vigor if I’m lucky enough to live that long.
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She is full of life!
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I can tell. Your stories about here crack me up. 😃
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I am so glad.
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I think you should ensure that somebody comes with you and makes a video documentary of your trips with your mother. They’d sell like hot cakes!
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Getting ready to take her on the road!
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LOL! She’s a card!
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