Joe Crater, our neighbor, took his dog, Ol’ Boots and walked into the woods behind his house one afternoon intending to hunt squirrels for a while. The woods stretched for miles behind his house. It was easy to get lost, even for a fellow who’d grown up there, like Joe. He didn’t remember leaving his compass home till he reached for it a few minutes before just before dusk that cold, fall afternoon. Rattled, he walked the direction he thought was home as it started to drizzle. He thought he recognized a landmark in the distance a time or two, only to be disappointed one he reached it. Finally, as dark closed in, he realized he was just getting more and more lost. He’d expected to be home long before night, so he had no flashlight. He only had his gun, his dog, and the clothes he stood up in. He decided he’d better make a fire while he could still see to gather wood. He gathered a sizeable pile of deadwood and fallen brush, knowing he’d make it through the miserable night if he could just stay warm. Fortunately, his Zippo lighter was handy. It was a long, wet night. As soon as he could see well enough to walk without stumbling, he walked till the woods thinned enough to see the lights of a farmhouse. He was so turned around by now, he couldn’t begin the guess where he was, but had no qualms about walking up to a stranger’s house and knocking on the door, after the night he’d just endured. The dog must have passed just as bad a night as Joe since he broke and ran when he saw the house. That wasn’t like Ol’ Boots.
Exhausted and chilled to the bone, he knocked on the back door of the stranger’s house, hoping someone would give him a hot cup of coffee. A woman in a housedress, flannel shirt, and frazzled hair opened the door. She looked like she’d been “rode hard and put up wet.”
“Where in the world have you been all night?” she demanded. “I been worried crazy!”
After the night he’d just passed, he was in no mood for jokes. “Lady, don’t give me no trouble. I been lost in the woods all night and my wife’s gone be worried to death.”
She looked at him like he’d lost his mind. “Joe, it’s me, Louise. Where in the world have you been? I was just fixin’ to send for yore brothers to go lookin’ for you.”
He was so confused it took some convincing that he’d stumbled up on his own house.
When you said the dog started running, I suspected it was his house. He was really confused. You’ve got a problem when you don’t recognize your own house or wife. It would seem for some reason he’d never really looked at his wife first thing in the morning. 😀 — Suzanne
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He must have been scared silly. The neighbors carried him high about it!
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“the clothes he stood up in”…great line. ☺ This is so believable to me. Joe…quite a character.
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Must have been quite a night!
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It must have been really scary although it makes for a good story. At the time he probably lost all ability to think clearly
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Apparently, he was just desperately lost. He was just a regular guy.
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He could not have gotten more lost…. lol!!!
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He was some upset alright! 😀 😀 😀
I don’t get his dog. Didn’t HE know his way home?
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I think the dog would have gone home if he’d been alone. He probably didn’t know they were lost.
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Just as I thought. The dog’s not too smart either. He should have run for home because of the cold and horrible night. 😛 😀
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I guess he was man’s best friend.
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LOL That’s cray. XD
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Yep!
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Sort of reminds me of Snow White… idk why though,
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I’m not sure I’d ever be too confused to recognize my own wife (unless she had in curlers and a face pack, of course).
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He was hopelessly list and scared. Maybe she was scary looking in the morning. This guy lived about three houses down from my husband when he was a kid.
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Actually, when you put it that way, you may have a point. My wife and I both look pretty scary first thing in the morning. 🙂
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I assume you’ve told her this!
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Yes, I mentioned it while she was sleeping. I have to say, she took it very well.
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Ah ha ha ha!
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That is pretty darn lost! 😀
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He was scared and confused for sure.
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No kidding! Glad he made it home safe.
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Yeah. He was bound to find his way out in the morning.
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Just think how confused he would have been by then! Poor guy!
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Totally messed up.
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“Rode hard and put up wet”…hahahaha!! What a night!
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You hadn’t heard that before?
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Something must have happened to him , something supernatural… otherwise, he lost his mind, or had amnesia, from e stress , or something.
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This is a recounting of actual story. My husband knew the man. He was just lost as a goose.
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“let as a goose2?? sounds good, what does it mean?
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Don’t recognize that. Was it a typo?
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In your comment. Maybe you coined a new phrase!
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I meant lost as a goose. Thanks for pointing it out.
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Still new to me! I thought geese had good navigational skills!
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Oh yeah.
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Okay, had to google it. Entire phrase is “lost as a goose in a snowstorm.” Wonder if they really get lost.
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Not on purpose.
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That’s pretty darn lost….
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Yes it is.
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