Miss Tillie, my Sunday School Teacher held my attention like no other before or since, giving the class candy, bubble gum, and tiny little paper umbrellas if we learned our Bible verses. Mother thought she ought not to bribe us to do our lessons. I thought Mother ought to mind her own business. Miss Tillie had already taught Sunday School for thirty years by the time I had her in 1956. She still wore lacy dresses left over from her daughter’s high school days when she didn’t opt for gabardine suits with oversize shoulder pads from the forties. She showed up once a month with robin’s egg blue hair that faded over the next three weeks to a pale lavender. We always complimented her when it was at its brightest and she’d shyly say, “Can you believe I don’t even have to color it?” I couldn’t. She still wore seamed stockings long after the other ladies wore seamless. I always looked forward to seeing a special one with a mended run she wore every third Sunday. I got to know Miss Tillie before I was old enough to know she was a little wacko, so I admired all her differences.
Miss Tillie was so sweet I wouldn’t have wanted to misbehave. The naughty words in the Bible caused her a big problem. She couldn’t bring herself to say the bad words like lie, sin, Hell, and ass, so she made modest substitutions such as fibbing, doing wrong, the bad place, and donkeys. The lesson of Samson versus the Philistines was a challenge for her. Starting out fine, she described Samson’s great strength and glorious hair, reminding us of his obedience to God. Things were going well until the battle reached its zenith. With her modesty, she couldn’t possibly say, “Samson slew ten-thousand Philistines with the jawbone of an ass,” so after a great deal of obvious preparation and practice, she concluded the lesson with a flourish, “and so Samson picked up the assbone of a donkey and slew ten-thousand Philistines.” That lesson is still burned in my brain.
No one forgets a good Sunday School teacher! Bribes work every time! I bet she was precious. 😊
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She was!
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Bless her heart. She really tried didn’t she. She must have just loved children. 🙂 — Suzanne
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She was a sweetheart.
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Ha ha ha. Great one. Miss Tillie was quite a character. Who knew bible study was so naughty.
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HaHA! Oh poor Miss Tillie, still I like the sound of her story best as I am sure you all did! 🙂
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It was greatly appreciated.
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Great post. Thanks for sharing.
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Oh, is that sweet. She really must have been a very fine lady!
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She was the kind of person who just made you feel warm.
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You conveyes that beautifully in your post, Linda!
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Thanks.
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You are welcome. Hope you and your family are doing well, Linda! ☺
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We are.
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This was adorable. I can only hope that some of my religious instruction lessons left as great an impression. 🙂
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I’ll bet it did.
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I like the way you made a wonderful post out of describing a quirky Sunday school teacher. I love little glimpses of different people. Probably why I love HONY so much.
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Thanks. What is HONY?
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Humans of New York. Started as a Facebook page I believe. They post a picture of someone they found on the streets of New York and a short quote from them about something in their life. They just fascinate the heck out of me.
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It really makes so much more sense with her edit. I mean assbones are terribly destructive. ;-D
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Get you every time.
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Miss Tillie deserves a daytime show of her own, if she’s till around. I don’t doubt she might stil inspire her audience with a thing or three. 😀 😀 😀
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One of the few times I enjoyed church.
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😀 😀 😀
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Hahaha! Poor thing. It must have been excruciating to teach Bible study.
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But we appreciated her so much.
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I have no doubt that you all loved her! She sounds like a lovable lady.
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Indeed!
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