I think I’ve mentioned my cousin Corwin was interesting. He was still hauling his bottle around when he started school. His teacher made him leave it at home, so first thing after getting off the bus, he’d get his bottle out of the cabinet, fill it up, and enjoy it along with his after school snack. A hearty eater, he’d grab up a handful of Gravytrain Chunks out of the dog’s bowl as he headed out to play football with his big brothers. As a crawling baby, Corwin had started shoving the puppy out of his bowl and just kind of got hooked on Gravytrain. It added a interest to the game to see Corwin playing football with his baby bottle sticking out of his back pocket. One of his brothers or cousins invariably snatched his bottle and ran, passing it on to whichever kid was new to the game. The chase was on. Corwin carried a grudge to the bitter end and picked up a stick or rock and bash the bottle thief’s head in long after the game of “Keepaway” concluded. His older brothers felt this bit of info was on a “need to know” basis, so new kids had to find out the hard way.
When he was about five or six, Corwin decided it was funny to pee the space heater. He’d fall all over himself to beat his mama in the front door, drop his pants, and spray the open flame with a stinking deluge that spattered, steamed, and spewed up the whole house. As he sprayed from side to side, kids would be scattering to avoid the stream. Should he have any ammo left, bystanders got it. His mother made a token protest, followed by, “I don’t know what makes that boy act like that.” Daddy told my aunt he’d hooked an electric shock to the heater, so Corwin would be electrocuted. She believed Daddy, so made Corwin give it up. I know it wasn’t true, but it would have been a fine idea.
Corwin was horrible. We all hated him. To make a long story short, Corwin was so darned mean, nobody would have stuck up for him. About that time, Daddy brought in some goats. At any rate, when Corwin saw goat pills littering the yard, he thought, they were chocolate M&Ms and gobbled quite a few before he noticed the taste was off. My brother and I made sure he had all he wanted. Seemed like justice.
LOL AWESOME!!
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Thanks.
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I hope those pills straightened him up a bit 😄😄😄
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Not a bit. He went to jail for trying to burn his mam’s house when she wouldn’t give him money.
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That’s a real rotten lad!
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That’s about as low as you get!
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Corwin sounds like a horrible person. He got what he deserved with the “m&ms”. Lol.
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We were delighted for him.
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I think they should have taken that bottle away and inserted some discipline. That may have made a kinder person and man.
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Discipline wouldn’t hurt.
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Oh my gosh!!!!! I love love love this so much. I love the voice you tell these stories in. Just love it!
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All the boys in that family were horrible. I have so many stories about them.
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You are a natural story teller. I’m so glad you are writing. So very glad. Sorry, though, that there was such terror from these kids.
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It is great story fodder.
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Can’t believe this story is real. Holy moly!
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Lord have mercy! What a time for his mama. Eewe.
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Bad boy!
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Ha ha ha.
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Thanks so much.
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I knew right away what that was in the pic above. is he in some penitentiary now or did he become priest? What a sick puppy, that Corwin was. I wish your dad had put a shocker in there for him. In the end, he got what he deserved.
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He has gone to that great goat pen in the sky after a few stints in prison. He tried to burn his mama’s house.
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Oh my! He was a mess and not in a good way. (For those who don’t know, in the south “a mess” can be used in several ways, usually affectionately but in this case, I mean the other)
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As far as I know, he never did a good thing.
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Wow! That boy just wasn’t right in the head! Sort of sad he wasted his life like that.
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So right.
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I can’t imagine that any child would pee into/onto anything inappropriate…more than once. Yikes. ☺
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He was horrible. He went through like a bush hog, destroying everything in sight.
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HAha! Sounds like fitting justice!
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