The Bearded Lady and the Stork’s Visit


I remember the day my brother was born. I’d just turned three. I woke up to find Mother gone, something I’d never experienced. Grandma had come to stay a few days to help out, but had broken a rib in a fender-bender the day before, so she wasn’t up to much, but that’s a whole other story. A neighbor stayed till with us till mid-morning, when a bearded Amazon identifying herself as Aunt Cynthia showed up to take care of us all. I’d never seen such a thing in my life. She must have been overdue time off from the circus to be free on such short notice.

The whole crazy scenario was too much for my tiny mind, especially, the strange bearded behemoth. I wasn’t buying any of it, so headed for the hills, in this case, the shrubs in our front yard. Eventually, tiring of calling me, “Aunt Cynthia” hoisted Grandma out of bed long enough to gain my trust, luring me in with the promise of scrambled eggs and strawberry jam. I was mortified to have wet my pants while in hiding. It took me forever to make Aunt Cynthia understand I needed “panties” not “pennies.”

Despite the psychic trauma, it ended well enough. Mother got home in a day or two with my new brother. Grandma was back on her feet. Aunt Cynthia went home, but for some reason I never really bonded with her, maybe because she kept offering me pennies instead of dry underwear. That’s kind of weird.

15 thoughts on “The Bearded Lady and the Stork’s Visit

    • Oh yes. She was my paternal grandmother’s half sister. That was the first and last time I saw her. My paternal great-grandmother was a wild woman. She was divorced twice and widowed once. Her last husband was killed in a gunfight. She abandoned my grandmother and her husband and ran off with another man. My GM didn’t see her for many years, and was passed from pillar to post till she married at seventeen. Divorce was almost unheard of in her time.


  1. Funny story. I recall spending nights with my grandmother and having to sleep with cousins who wet the bed. Yuck!!! It’s a creepy feeling to wake up in the middle of the night to someone else’s warm pee.


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