Oilcan Harry and the Washing Machine

imageMother was stuck taking us everywhere she went, even to buy a new washing machine just days before her fourth baby was born. She never asked anyone to keep us since that would have insured she had to return the favor and keep someone else’s monsters in return, probably some of our killer cousins. She was always on guard against that. We followed her into to appliance store. It was maddeningly dull to me and my Brother Billy. We wanted to ride in the dryers and jump on the doors, but she put a stop to that pretty quickly, making us sit on our hands with our backs to each other where Phyllis could watch us. Eventually, she made her choice and went to sign the mortgage papers. I knew all about mortgages! I was an avid fan of Mighty Mouse! He’d saved Sweet Alice countless times when Oilcan Harry was about to do her in all on account of that danged mortgage, and here my own sweet mother was about to sign a mortgage. I set up a protest, as only a righteous eight year old can do!

“Mother, Mother, don’t sign it. We’ll lose the house! Please don’t sign a mortgage!”

She was infuriated, as only an overwrought pregnant woman can be, snarlingly at me hatefully through clenched teeth. “Go over there and sit down. If you say another word, I’ol tear you up right here in this store!”

I do believe she meant it. She got her washer and Oilcan Harry didn’t get the house.

29 thoughts on “Oilcan Harry and the Washing Machine

  1. dave lewis says:

    Living on love, buying on time. Without having somebody, life just ain’t worth a dime. Like an old fashioned nursery rhyme, living on love.


  2. Hahahaha! Mortgage papers for a washing machine. LOL! Isn’t it funny how children can get strange ideas in their heads from watching cartoons! hahaha! (I’m glad ya’ll didn’t end up losing your house over a new washing machine!)


  3. mothers don’t understand children just know best, do they? My mum swallowed a fly at a bus stop and because I knew the old song ‘ there was an old woman who swallowed a fly, perhaps she’ll die’ I badgered her and berated her to do something to stop imminent death. In the end she went to the chemist and bought some antiseptic, took it outside and gargled it. ‘Now your turn’. ‘But I didn’t swallow anything.’ The look told me all I needed to know about what I had to do.

    Liked by 1 person

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