Daddy was a pragmatist with a dim view of positive reinforcement. Throughout his life, he’d seen many of acquaintances make the expedient rather than the better choice. I don’t know whether he considered his choice of associates might have an effect on their decision-making but he did need a fix of low company from time to time, probably feeling they held a lofty view of him. He held himself apart from drinking and trashy behavior, but did appreciate hearing just enough to reinforce his self-view, also providing an opportunity for edification should these “friends in low places” need his help and guidance. They enjoyed his generosity far more than his immediate family. Taking care of one’s family is a thankless task, whereas news of “bread cast upon the waters” may be touted far and wide. Though not a minister, he frequently preached that a person trying to lift himself out of a “life of sin” is to be praised far above those never wallowed. I am sure, this was personal, since he took every opportunity to use his own early behavior and redemption as an example of all he’d overcome. For some reason, he never encouraged us to sample the delights of sin so we could ascend to sainthood as he had, just made sure we never enjoyed the opportunity to mess up.
It was heart-warming to hear of the improved behavior of Josey Johnson, who only two weeks earlier had abandoned a loving husband or wife and little children for the company of a hard-drinking friend. If Daddy could corner Josey and get in a little preaching and Josey came home, Daddy was ecstatic. Josey could count on all kinds of favors, till he or she took off again. Daddy wasn’t bad about letting us know when Josey backslid, but hastened to update us if Josie returned home for some rest and rehabilitation. It didn’t matter that Josey might have been kicked out of a den of iniquity and was roosting at home till something better came along.
Unfortunately, Daddy never understood that not all people seek the low life. Life is full of people who do the right thing, just because it is right. I still wish he’d learned that not everyone falls, given the opportunity. I know his difficult background shaped his attitude.
This photo pictures my father and several of his siblings. He is the boy in the middle holding the cap. I feel sure my grandmother seized the opportunity to have their pictures made by someone who happened by with a camera. They were sharecroppers. It is unlikely she was able to make any preparations for this photo. Times got even harder for the family when her husband died at forty-two, leaving her with five children between three and eighteen. The eldest had already married and left home. The oldest boy, at eighteen was working at whatever he could find. The fifteen-year-old boy went into the Civilian Conservation Corps as soon as he could. My father was thirteen and did farm work and odd jobs to help out till he got on as a night watchman at an oil rig at fifteen. The rig wasn’t too far from the house so he often slipped home to get something to eat and warm up, since he was too poorly clothed to keep warm.
It amazes me how children can overcome hardship. Taking on responsibilities that they shouldn’t have to. It makes clear why some older people are the way they are. I have met some folks that are like your dad, but it is totally understandable. Unless we find out how they were raised and what they had to endure we can not judge their behavior.
Wonderful post, kudos.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I figured out I appreciate that I had such times in my life where we had less. It taught me a lot for life.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, did you ever notice people will put money in a slot machine all day and be ecstatic if it pays off, then throw a fit if they lose money in a vending machine. You definitely don’t need everything you want!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s unreasonable to throw away money but to trust that it will multiply and come back 🙂 I never understood such ones.
LikeLike
We seldom understand someone until we attempt to walk in their shoes along their path.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I struggled and now have enough,thank God. Enough is wonderful. I don’t need rich.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So true.
LikeLike
And some call those the good old days. My mom married at age 15 in 1916 to a family friend to get some security. Her father was an alcoholic. Your father did well. Those were especially hard times. My parents lived through two world wars and a depression. —- Suzanne
LikeLike
My mother says now she knows people can live through anything.
LikeLike
Such a hard way to grow up – but then, I wonder is our way any better ? In comparison we have so much more, and often are so much the poorer for it in spirit.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Having just enough is probably best.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think so. A lot of rich people are very unhappy
LikeLiked by 1 person
The struggle was so real. It made them the adults they became. You should continue his story.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I will do that. Thanks. It will be harder since he didn’t talk much about his. Childhood.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Neither did my parents, but bits and pieces leaked out over the years, and it made me understand and appreciate them so much more. 💘
LikeLiked by 1 person
Those little pieces eventually paint quite a picture.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s good that your dad helped your grandmother. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
They all nearly starved.
LikeLike
😦 Aww… your dad sounds like a good man Linda ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
He tried, just as we all do.
LikeLike
He was such a cute little boy. Times were so hard back then.
LikeLiked by 1 person
He was darling. His mother got pregnant almost immediately after he was born. They were about to starve and she aborted that child in desperation. She always regretted it. Times were hard.
LikeLike
It is a shame that your dad didn’t let you commit a few sins so you could repent later! 🙂
LikeLiked by 3 people
I was level-headed, then I married at nineteen. We are still happy.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I think that is lovely Linda. you are one of the nicest people anyway 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Might depend on who you ask.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I bet everyone thinks the same 🙂
LikeLike
and you married a good man :).
LikeLiked by 1 person
We are both lucky.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Holy Moly, Linda. What a tough life for a young boy. 😦
LikeLike
It had to be awful.
LikeLiked by 1 person