Uncle Jerry drank a little. In fact, Uncle Jerry never drew a sober breath from the time he cashed his paycheck at the liquor store on Friday after work until he got back to the shop on Mondays with a killer hangover. One time he told Bud, “I get paid today and I gotta get drunk. I had the flu all week and feel so bad I cain’t hardly drag. I shore dread it.”
Bud, who’d never been initiated into drinking at the time asked, “Uncle Jerry, if you feel so bad, why do you HAVE to get drunk? Can’t you take a weekend off?”
“Oh no!” Uncle Jerry told him. “I always stay drunk on the weekends.”
He must have been concerned about his reputation. He was Aunt Myrtle’s second husband. At the time I knew them, they’d been married over forty years. If Aunt Myrtle stuck by Uncle Jerry, I can’t imagine what her first husband must have put her through.
Mother went over to visit Aunt Myrtle one Thursday morning, not realizing Uncle Jerry was on vacation. They went out to the garden first to admire Aunt Myrtle’s tomatoes and the green beans that were starting to put out, picking a few for Mother. When they made their way into the kitchen, they encountered Uncle Jerry down on his hands and knees in front of the icebox (not refrigerator). He’d pulled the drawer out and was eating onions and turnips raw with the garden dirt still clinging to them. Considering it was Uncle Jerry, neither one said anything.
He looked up at them and remarked. “This is my icebox and I’ll eat anything I G__ D____ please.” They got their coffee and took it out to drink in the shade.
“Don’t let Jerry worry you none. I forgot to tell you Jerry was on vacation when I told you to come over to get tomatoes,” noted Aunt Myrtle.
“Oh, that’s okay. It is his icebox after all,” Mother replied.
How do you come up with all these stories? Your brain must work overtime. You are a marvel.
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I love, love ,love stories.
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I hate to think what her first husband was like. Your stories are colorful, very colorful Linda and I look forward to them daily.
Hope everyone is well there. Hugs Pat.
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You know he had to be horrible if Uncle Jerry was an improvement.
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Reblogged this on Nutsrok.
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Poor lady. No, I don’t envy her. The best thing that could be said about him is that he didn’t beat her when he was drunk. Maybe her first husband did. Good story, Linda. You have a real knack. 🙂 — Suzanne
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It was wonderful!
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Thanks so much!
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Wow wasnt sure what to say about this! You have such good story telling skills!!!! It always paints a huge colorful picture!
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Doesn’t make you envy that lady, does it.
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Noo
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I agree, she must be a saint…
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A really good woman.
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Its great that you have a sense of humor because a lot of people lack it!!
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It does make the day go better!
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Your Aunt must have been a saint!!
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Maybe battle scarred.
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She bought a new couch as soon as he died because he peed the old one to death.
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LOL!!!!
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Some people have a different idea of what having fun is. Nothing like drinking too much, sobering up just enough, to realize the trash wasn’t the urinal. There’s good and bad in everything. At least it wasn’t the sink.
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Sometimes mes it’s rough being a drunk, but somebody’s got to do it.
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I quit that stuff over forty years ago.
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Bet you are much duller nowadays.
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Stuffy, repetitious, boring, and proud of it.
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Does make life simpler, doesn’t it!
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Hahahaha!
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