During World War II, the Army had soldiers doing maneuvers in the woods near Aunt Mary and Uncle Willie’s house in Sibley. Aunt Mary had been raving about the sex-crazed GIs running wild in the woods thereabouts, probably more to keep her girls in line than anything else. She wouldn’t even let them go to the toilet or hang clothes on the line by themselves. They always had to do everything three at a time. It must have been lovely crowding three girls in a two hole toilet on a hot day. God knows, one of them couldn’t have stood outside alone and unprotected.
At any rate, due to Aunt Mary’s unrelenting vigilance, her three terrified girls had remained chaste and unmolested by the lusty soldiers. One hot August afternoon, Aunt Mary broke her own rule and slipped out to the toilet alone for a little personal time. Just as she settled her generous bottom on the wooden seat, she disturbed some nose-blind red wasps building a home over the stinking quagmire of human refuse below. The offended wasps couldn’t resist the tempting target she presented and launched a viscious attack on her tender nether portions.
Aunt Mary burst out of the toilet, shrieking in pain and shock, peeing herself while trying to run with her drawers around her ankles. Bursting through the screen door to the back porch rubbing her wounds, with tears running down her face, she shrieked at her terrified girls, “There were six of ’em. They got me when I went to the toilet!”
Assuming she’d been accosted by the fearsome soldiers she’d warned against so often, all thee girls ran down the road, screaming for the neighbors to come to their rescue. Even though poor Aunt Mary was in no condition for company, very soon she had plenty!
I can just imagine what the girls told the neighbors. Hilarious!!!! You have a very colorful family. :o)
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Yes I do!
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This is hilarious. I bet she wasn’t amused in the least. Did you just publish a book?
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Yes, I did. This story will be in the sequel, already nearly done. Hope you read and like my book.
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Loved it, Linda! Shared 🙂
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Thanks. I appreciate that.
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Hilarious snippet. Love it! Thanks for tickling my funny bone 🙂
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Wonderfully funny story – if a bit painful for Aunt Mary.
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Bad day to be Aunt Mary!
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Great and funny, funny story! And I can tell ya, from experience, how much those stings hurt. Ouch!
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I’ve had plenty, but not like Aunt Mary, thank goodness.
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Ha, Ha! That’s one of the funniest stories yet, Linda. I have to feel a bit sorry for Auntie, though. 😀 — Suzanne
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She laughed about it as long as I knew her!
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Your family does not need television, or radio, or books. Pure entertainment. 🙂
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Everybody is coming today. Will report back!
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Looking forward to it!!
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Oh, no. And….ouch. ☺
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Terrible and funny at the same time!
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She laughed plenty later. Enjoyed being the “butt” of the joke.
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HaHA! Poor old aunty! 🙂
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Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
Hilarious and had to read out to my husband… so visual and so looking forward Linda’s long awaited book next week.. lovely job.. please go to Linda’s post and comment and share..
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I’d be willing to bet he laughed more than sympathized. Will have to tell you when Mother was her lookout for outdoor peeing.
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That will be a story and a half xoxo
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Hilarious!! And great picture too 🙂 Your family is full of wonderful characters!
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We love our stories, but I found that image online. It is perfect!
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Couldn’t have done better!
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Poor dear!! but way too funny!
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Terrible way to be butt of joke.
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This is such a funny story and you told it wonderfully with good pacing and just the right amount of detail building to the hilarious ending. I loved it.
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All not Mary loved the story. She told it every chance she got. The credit goes to her! Bu thanks.
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I feel bad for your aunt, but what a funny sight that must’ve been! 🙂
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The neighbors loved it. She sat on ice packs for a while.
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I’m sure she did! Poor woman!
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Must have been horrendously painful, then all the neighbors showed up!
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It must have been. I hope the neighbors were able to offer some support. 🙂
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I think they brought ice!
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I don’t know who I feel sorry for more – Aunt Mary or the wasps that built their nest in that nasty potty. LOL!
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Tough for both! No wonder they were in a bad mood!
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LOL! So true!!
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