Useful Old Sayings

“If your brain was  strychnine, it wouldn’t stagger a piss ant.”

“If you don’t want to get s___ on you, don’t mess with a turd.”

“Wipe off some of that lipstick.  Your mouth looks like a chicken’s ass in poke berry season.”

“He’d climb on top of the house to tell a lie when he could stand on the ground and tell the truth.”

“She’d gripe if you stood on the porch and pee’d in the yard, or stood in the yard and pee’d on the porch.

“He’s so cheap he wouldn’t give a nickel to see Jesus ridin’ a bicycle.”

“I’m so poor I can’t afford to pay attention.”
“I couldn’t buy a hummingbird on a string for a nickel.”

“He doesn’t have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of.”

“….so mean his mama had to tie a porch chop around his neck to get the puppy to play with him.”

“It would be easier to push syrup up a hill with a stick.”

 

Advertisements

22 thoughts on “Useful Old Sayings

  1. “He couldn’t pour piss out of a boot, with the directions on the heel.” “It’s raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock.” “You talk so much, your lips are moving like a duck’s ass.” “So poor, couldn’t afford to buy a louse off a low-cut kimono.”

    Liked by 1 person

Talk To Me!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s