“If your brain was strychnine, it wouldn’t stagger a piss ant.”
“If you don’t want to get s___ on you, don’t mess with a turd.”
“Wipe off some of that lipstick. Your mouth looks like a chicken’s ass in poke berry season.”
“He’d climb on top of the house to tell a lie when he could stand on the ground and tell the truth.”
“She’d gripe if you stood on the porch and pee’d in the yard, or stood in the yard and pee’d on the porch.
“He’s so cheap he wouldn’t give a nickel to see Jesus ridin’ a bicycle.”
“I’m so poor I can’t afford to pay attention.”
“I couldn’t buy a hummingbird on a string for a nickel.”
“He doesn’t have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of.”
“….so mean his mama had to tie a porch chop around his neck to get the puppy to play with him.”
“It would be easier to push syrup up a hill with a stick.”
I love every single one of them and may visit to borrow now and again. Ha 🙂
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Help yourself any time you want to feel cultured!
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Glorious! I’m stealing them all. Just try and stop me.
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Welcome to Hicktown!
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Great old sayings, some familiar to me some new. I’ve got to try to remember a few of them.
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They are good ones.
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LOL: “I’m so poor I can’t afford to pay attention.”
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Glad you enjoyed these.
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Good old sayings!! 🙂 😀
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I liked them, too!
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Wow love these! I have never heard one of these sayings!
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Aren’t they great!
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haha yes
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HaHA! Some classic sayings here, Linda 🙂
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There are some funnies there.
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LOL!!!! I have never heard of any of these. they are priceless 🙂 I’m going to take a copy – might just find a use for them one day. I guess that’s OK with you?
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Enjoy. It might change your life!
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I loved reading these useful old sayings. Thank you!
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“He couldn’t pour piss out of a boot, with the directions on the heel.” “It’s raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock.” “You talk so much, your lips are moving like a duck’s ass.” “So poor, couldn’t afford to buy a louse off a low-cut kimono.”
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Now those are good!
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One more for the road–“He was clumsy as a hog on roller skates.”
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Good one!
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