Miss Sally, the Felon and Luella’s Fried Chicken

img_1800Miss Sally was a challenged driver, even by her standards. After she totaled her own very nice car, her daughter, Judy, and son-in-law, Johnny passed their old, but good car on to her, thinking it would do to get her as far as the closest store and post-office, the restrictions she’d agreed on. Their reasoning was, it would spare her the expense of a new car and might be so far beneath her old standards that she’d be ashamed to be seen in it. It didn’t exactly work out that way. True enough, Miss Sally was discouraged and found the car hard to manage. The little car which Johnny had babied along for more than a dozen years and secretly hoped Miss Sally would reject was soon dinged up, battered, and missing a couple of mirrors. It seems backing up is a challenge for folks who don’t turn their heads to look behind them or utilize mirrors. Every time he saw a new injury, he just had to ask, “How did this dent get here? When was this bumper knocked crooked?”

“I don’t know. Certainly not when I was driving it,” she swore. At first they thought she was denying responsibility for the car’s insults, till it occurred to Johnny to ask, “Well, who was driving it, then?”

“I guess it was Harvey, the guy a few houses down,” she answered simply.

“Harvey? You mean Harvey who just got out of jail?” Judy protested.

“I’ll have you know he paid his debt to society, Missy!”  Miss Sally was offended at her daughter’s unchristian attitude. You’d think Harvey was the first guy who ever got in a little bind. “Besides, he was nice enough to drive Miss Dora home after she finished cleaning and he ran over the curb at the Pepper’s Chicken place.” “Mama! Why did you go by Pepper’s Chicken Place taking Dora home? That’s way over on Barkley Street, miles from Dora’s house. Why on earth would you go by there?”

Judy was worried now. Mama wasn’t supposed to be running all over town, certainly not with Harvey.  “That’s where Miss Dora’s cousin works. Chicken is a lot cheaper. Dora just lets her Cousin Luella know we are there and she brings it straight out the back door quick as we get there. A great big bucket doesn’t cost but two dollars! I always buy her one and get one for me and Harvey to share when we get back home.” Miss Sally looked pleased with her bargain. “Mama! You could get arrested. You are running around with a felon and receiving stolen goods! Luella is not paying for that chicken! That money goes right in her pocket! Besides, you know the doctor told you not to eat fried foods!”

“Judy, you know it’s not Christian to talk about folks that way. I am ashamed of you. She sighed. She’d tried so hard to raise Judy right.

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4 thoughts on “Miss Sally, the Felon and Luella’s Fried Chicken

  1. Jlynn says:

    So hysterical! Reminds me of my mom and her car misadventures. There was always a new ding in her go-buggy, and she claims never to have noticed it.

    Sent from my iPhone

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