As the old woman was leaving, he called out, “Goodbye, Mother!” As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50. “How can that be?” He asked, “I only purchased a few things!” “Your mother said that you would pay for her,” said the clerk.
Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased you can hear again.” To which the gentleman said, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will five times!” Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, this driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies — two in the front seat and three in the back — wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, Officer, I don’t understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem? “Ma’am,” the officer replies, you weren’t speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers. Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly… Twenty-two miles an hour! “The old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that 22” was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. But before I let you go, Ma’am, I have to ask… Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven’t muttered a single peep this whole time, “the officer asks. Oh, they’ll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119.” “How was your game, dear?” asked Jack’s wife Tracy.
“Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight’s gotten so bad I couldn’t see where the ball went,” he answered. “But you’re 75 years old, Jack!” admonished his wife, “Why don’t you take my brother Scott along?” “But he’s 85 and doesn’t play golf anymore,” protested Jack. “But he’s got perfect eyesight. He would watch the ball for you,” Tracy pointed out. The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. “Do you see it?” asked Jack. “Yup,” Scott answered. “Well, where is it?” yelled Jack, peering off into the distance. “I forgot.” |
We were entertaining my father & mother in law this morning. When we went to the restaurant my mother in law wanted to make sure she sat on the side of her husbands hearing aid. I had to laugh. My father in law is loaded. I had to pass this on in hopes none of us makes this error. LOL
He’s a nice guy, just very proud and resists any offers to help for anything. It can be aggravating at times. As my mother in law says, “getting old isn’t for sissies!”
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You know that has to happen all the time. It’s good when you have time to write nvest in each other before aging. Hopefully, makes up for the annoyances.
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Yes. My father in law is nice which is fortunate.
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That helps.
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I’m just glad I got to know him before aging and too many surgeries took its toll. He was step dad to my hubby.
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That’s good.
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These are so funny. I read the golf joke to my husband and found it funny as well. My personal favorite was the old lady driver and her passengers. Thanks for lightening my day.
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You are so welcome!
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Great post! Thank you for sharing.
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Welcome!
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That reminds me of my chum at the YMCA that was bragging about his new hearing aide and how much it cost him.I asked him what kind was it? He replied ten after three.
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Ha ha ha ha!
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Thanks.
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Reblogged this on that little voice and commented:
I enjoyed a few laughs on this dreary Saturday morning. Hope you get a chuckle or two also. Reblogged from:
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Thanks.
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Needed that refreshing laugh.
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You are welcome.
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I like the golf one…..reminded me of the one where the old man goes for a test to see if he has dementia and when asked the results says What test?
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Good one!
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This made me laugh 😁😂
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Me too!
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😀 😀
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Great chuckles for the end of the week and beginning of the weekend. 😀 😀 😀
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😂
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