Joke of the Day

Nutsrok

Heaven’s Entrance Exam

A man dies and goes to heaven. Of course, St. Peter meets him at the
Pearly Gates. St. Peter says, “Here’s how it works. You need 100 points
to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you’ve done, and I
give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good
it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in.”

“Okay,” the man says, “I was married to the same woman for 50 years
and never cheated on her, even in my heart.”

“That’s wonderful,” says St. Peter, “that’s worth three points!”

“Three points?” he says. “Well, I attended church all my life and supported
its ministry with my tithe and service.”

“Terrific!” says St. Peter. “That’s certainly worth a point.”

“One point?!!” “I started a soup kitchen in my city and worked in a shelter
for homeless veterans.”

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Smorgasbord Review 2017 – – Humour – Under the Influence! With a few cats thrown in…

Too funny not to Reblog.

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

This was the most viewed humour post of 2017 – I hope you enjoy…..

Strange things happen in bars.. drinking too much can alter your persective in life and sometimes rearrange your facial features. Not something I recommend. However, bars can also be amusing places!

A cowboy walked into a bar and ordered a whiskey. When the bartender delivered the drink, the cowboy asked, “Where is everybody?” The bartender replied, “They’ve gone to the hanging.” “Hanging? Who are they hanging?” “Brown Paper Pete,” the bartender replied.

“What kind of a name is that?” the cowboy asked. “Well,” said the bartender, “he wears a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper trousers and brown paper shoes.”

“Weird guy,” said the cowboy. “What are they hanging him for?”

“Rustling,” said the bartender

This guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he can show him something unbelievable, he gets…

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Bucket List for a Spring Chicken Part 3

When I left you,  Ollie had just found out we were arriving a day earlier than she thought.  “Yikes!   I was going to clean house tomorrow.” She exclaimed.

I reassured her.  “Go ahead, but I’m not helping.  I’m on vacation.” None of us cleaned house.  Instead, we drank coffee and told wild stories till time to go out to lunch every day, then shopped a little in the afternoons.   I haven’t shopped since I retired, so I really enjoyed it.  I even bought red pajamas.  Next time I take a trip, my host can sing  “She’ll Be Wearing Red Pajamas When She comes.”

We visited my uncle’s grave in the National Cemetery at Elgin, Oklahoma,  a very reverent and fitting place for our service members and their spouses. (Pictured above.  Shirley Martin and  Ollie Johnson)

Regrettably, we had to leave after a short three days.   I would have loved to stay a month, but Ollie got lucky.  We had to get home for Christmas.   I love travelling with women.   dawdling over lunch and drinking all the tea I want.  No  one complains about stopping for the bathroom or worries about “making good  time.”  You can even stop at fruit stands or resale shops.

The last thing Mother said as she got off the train was, “Now I want to ride the train to San Antonio to see Ann.”  So much for clearing her bucket list!  I guess that’s how she made it to eighty-nine!

Homeward Bound.