The Paper Plate Outrage

Eavesdropping on planes is one of life’s gifts. First of all, it costs nothing and could be considered a bonus that comes with your ticket. Most importantly, it is totally a guiltless indulgence, though some people might not appreciate it.

Today’s flight was packed. A gentleman seated behind us called a buddy and launched into his sad story as soon as he was seated, talking so loud the entire assemblage could hear.

“Man, I am so hungover and mad I can hardly think straight. I picked up a client for dinner and he wanted to drag a buddy along. I should have said no, but I was trying to be The Good Guy. They talked about his buddy’s divorce all through dinner. We didn’t get a bit of business done. I took them to a strip joint and it was all downhill. We all got drunk and I told him what I thought.

He paused for a bit,”No, I’m going straight to my office. I don’t want to see my wife. I blew up before I left. I came home for dinner and she dished my dinner up and banged it down on the counter. ‘Now, hold on,’ I said. ‘What happened to family dinners in the dining room?”

She got all huffy, moved my meal to the dining room table. Then she went back and started putting the kid’s dinners on paper plates.

“#|%^*!~. £#%~?{, I don’t want my kids growing up eating on paper plates like trash. I want them to remember eating in the dining room on real dishes. I don’t care if the dishwasher is broken. I’LL wash the ——ng dishes if that’s what it takes. I bought you a two million dollar house and I expect you to raise my kids right.”

Lengthy pause, then “I don’t even think I’ll go home. I think I’ll just call her tonight and tell her I’m done. She used to be my best friend. I don’t know what happened.”

Just then the stewardess came by and told him to get off the phone so that was the end of the call. He did apologize saying, “I’m sorry, I’ve got such a hangover I’m not thinking straight.”

Don’t you know his wife would be upset when she found out all she would have had to do was feed the kids on paper plates to get rid of him?

27 thoughts on “The Paper Plate Outrage

  1. As much as listening to other people’s telephone conversations is a guilty indulgence, I often wish most people would not be so willing to share as if they are the center of the universe. Great fodder for stories, though. 😀 🙂


  2. I think people become insulated. They think they are protected by an invisible wall when they are on the phone, in supermarkets, shopping, on the street, wherever. They figure you don’t know them or you and maybe… you’ll feel sorry for them? Nah! They just don’t frikkin’ care. My first husband wanted cloth napkins only. I had more cloth napkins than you could imagine. I still have some but they are seldom used.


  3. They are caught in a world of their own, unaware of their surroundings, or they have a hearing problem and don’t realize how loud they are talking, or they are egotists who don’t care what effect they have on others. Some of them rise to very high stations in our world!!


  4. Sometimes we ‘get’ the answer to our dilemma later than we’d like. The wife was no doubt glad he staggered off, whatever the cause. At least in your case the fellow was apologetic about being so free with his information. I was on a flight once where a nasty fellow and some woman he clearly wanted to boink were sitting behind me. Discussing the fact that the fellow’s ‘friend’ (and the woman’s boyfriend) would be so %$@! mad if he found out what they planned to do, which was cuckold the poor guy. Maybe HE was relieved when he found out, because false friends and horny girlfriends who cheat on a guy aren’t anything anyone wants!


  5. Ha!!!! Perfect ending line. I hate listening to those LOUD they have to project over one of those childhood “phone” made out of two soup cans and a string.


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