Daddy would buy anything sold door to door. He probably would have bought a helicopter had a salesman shown up and offered one on a no-money-down, three-year-payment plan. He bought waterless cookware. It was supposed to cut cooking time, save money and increase Mother’s effiency. He was all for anything that made Mother more organized. I guess it never occurred to him a string of babies and unending farm and house work might be a factor.
When the vacuum salesman came around, Daddy didn’t feel he could afford the new model, so he bargained for the used model the salesman had taken in trade on his rounds that morning. The purchase probably saved the guy a trip to the dump. The salesman jimmied with it enough to get it running that day, but it never started again. I don’t believe that helped Mother’s organization or her attitude a bit. The good news was, the salesman took five dollars cash, and Mother was to send payments afterwards. The good news was, Mother never sent a payment, which meant the guy only beat them out of five bucks.
We also had the only house distinguished by lightning rods on the roof. The theory was, the lightning would strike the rod, rather than the roof. The charge was to follow a metal cable downward, where it would be grounded. The lightning rods might have been an the answer to a prayer had Daddy not bought a remote-controlled television antenna which was probably twenty feet taller than the model that came with the TV from the next guy who knocked on the door. He enjoyed trying to find the best reception for a month or two until the antenna was struck by lightening. The charge ran down the wire, melted a hole in metal TV case and fried the vacuum tubes. Sadly, it also blew out the works in the beautiful ship lamp that came with the TV and melted its lovely red cellophane windows. I was kind of glad when the antenna motor blew out since Daddy spent a lot of time adjusting it, limiting our viewing pleasure. We were frequently sent outdoors a lot to let him know if it was moving while he adjusted. I never could tell when it moved, so I just gave random answers. I don’t know why it gave him so much trouble.
to be continued
I just started a blog all about MLM and small businesses! You should check it out! 🙂
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Ok. I will.
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At least it wasn’t dull at your house. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Never!
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We bought the Kirby. Were our father’s related?
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It was a club. I never knew of Daddy to set foot in a store, but door to door, lookout!
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Amway. My dad thought he’d get rich selling Amway. We had a spare room filled with boxes of unsold mustard. Does Amway still sell mustard? This is a funny story, Linda.
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Thohose pyramid schemes are awful.
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My Father would got these ideas that always wound up in storage.
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Did he buy or sell?
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Neither. He bought and stored. 🙂
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What a waste. It must have been the buying that made him feel good.
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I think he had manic episodes. He once decided to paint the living room; it was dark red. Dad went with Sherwood Forest Green, really just bright green. Dad was halfway done when he crashed so for the rest of our stay in that house the living room was half-green and half-red.
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I’ll bet you hated that.
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It was weird.
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I know it was.
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Both of my parents were strange, what with my Yankee Mom hurling insults at the Southern Baptist neighbors, who actually started it first, and my freaked out dad pacing the living room until 4am.
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And the kids were hiding, I’ll bet.
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I spent most of my childhood trying to be as invisible as possible.
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Not surprising.
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Umm..It was dangerous when people noticed me. It set up a lifelong tension between a desire to excel and the need to stay hidden.
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I understand that.
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My Dad brought a brush salesman home from the bar years ago for dinner. He drank all of Dads” beer and tried to seduce Mom when Dad passed out.He slept on the couch for the next month. Dad that is!
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It would have made a much better story the other way. Too bad.
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Ha. My dad was a sucker for new cars. We lived in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere and car dealers from 80 miles away would drive new fully-loaded models to our town just to show my dad. I don’t know that he ever turned one down. This was his only vice. Well, that and tiny abandoned animals that he brought home with great regularity.
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Nobody did that. We just got weird stuff.
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But yours makes for a better story. Loved it.
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Why, thank you, ma’am.
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Lol! i can remember my father doing the same fiddling with our TV antennae! Thank God those days are over 🙂
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No kidding. You could miss half the program.
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Yeah!
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Great story. It brings back a lot of memories. I still remember being about six years old, and my dad buying the entire set of Encyclopedia Britannica in hardback. Thanks, and take care.
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More on that tomorrow. We got Book of Knowlege.
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