Fishing Joke

A couple visited a fishing resort. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; his wife preferred to read. One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a nap. The wife couldn’t stand the snoring and decided to take the boat out. Since she was not familiar with the lake, she rowed out to the middle, anchored the boat, and started reading.m Along came the game warden in his boat. He pulled up alongside and said, “Good morning, ma’am. What are you doing here?” “Reading,” she replied, thinking, “Is this guy blind or what?” “You’re in a restricted fishing area,” he informed her. “But, Officer, I’m not fishing. You can see that, surely.” “But you have all the equipment, ma’am. I’ll have to write you up.” “If you do that, I will charge you with rape,” returned the irate woman. “But I haven’t even touched you,” the sheriff objected. “That’s true; but you have all the equipment.” THE MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.

Jam Recipe

Dewberries grow wild in our part of the country.  They look like blackberries but are larger and sweeter.  The vines spread out rather than growing up.  This recipe can be used for any kind of berry jam.  Don’t try to make more than six cups of berries at a time or it will not set up.  Should it not gel you can reprocess it by bring to a boil with another half-pack of pectin.  I use this recipe for all berries and fruit.  Splenda can be substituted for sugar.

6 cups fruit

6 cups sugar or Splenda

1 pack fruit pectin

Place fruit in large boiler with enough water to almost cover.  Bring to a boil, turn down, and simmer for 5 to 10 minutes.  Crush fruit with potato masher or berries by running through berry sieve.  I don’t object to seeds, so I use potato masher, so as to save all the pulp. bring fruit to a full boil with the package of pectin. Stir often.
When the juice is at a full rolling boil, add the sugar quickly and stir constantly.
Bring back to a full rolling boil and cook for exactly 1 minute, stirring constantly.
Remove from heat and ladle into jars that have been prepared and sterilized.
Wipe rims of jars with damp, clean rag and place lids and rings on jars.
Process in a water bath for 10 minutes.  Okay to add just a little water if needed to make batch fill jars evenly.  Caution.  It is okay to reuse rings but not the flats used to seal jars


Serve with hot biscuits.