Rudy to the Rescue

Farmer Brown had dozens of hens, but no rooster, so he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster for sale.  The other farmer says, “Yeah, I’ve this great rooster, named Rudy. He’ll service every chicken you got, no problem.” Well, Rudy the rooster costs a lot of money, but, farmer decides he’d be worth it. So, he buys him and takes the rooster home. He then sets him down in the barnyard and gives the rooster a pep talk, “Rudy, I want you to pace yourself now. You’ve got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I’ll need you to do a good job. “So, take your time and have some fun,” the farmer ended with a chuckle.

Rudy seemed to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house, and Rudy took off like a shot. WHAM! He nails every hen in the hen house three or four times, and the farmer is really shocked. After that the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen, sure enough, Rudy is in there. Later, the farmer sees Him after the flock of geese down by the lake. Once again, WHAM! He gets all the geese. By sunset he sees Rudy out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer is distraught — worried that his expensive rooster won’t even last 24 hours. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day to find Rudy  dead as a doorknob — stone cold in the middle of the yard and buzzards are circling overhead. The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, “Oh, Rudy, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you’ve done to yourself.” Rudy opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky and says, “SHHHH, they’re getting closer…”

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