5 Ways to Make Sure Your Child and His Puppy Have a Satisfying Morning (reposted)

  1. Let your kid eat in front of the TV.
  2.  Forget to put Vaseline on the doorknob so kid can open door.
  3.  Make sure your kid has a puppy.
  4.  Make sure your kid’s stomach and puppy’s digestive tract are both full.
  5.  Go to bathroom for a little quality time.
                                             John and Buster on a Better Day
John and Blackie

We’ve all seen articles by organized people enumerating methods to keep out lives well-organized, tidy, and rational.  Well, this is not one of those.  I’d be far more successful at writing “How to Mess Up Everything You Touch.”  My kids were always right ahead of me, making sure nothing was missed.  When John was three, I settled him on the floor on a big towel in front of the television with his breakfast on a tray to watch “Sesame Street.  Never a slacker in the appetite department, he always wanted milk, eggs, bacon, toast, and grits.  I always watched with him, ready to pick up his tray and cuddle him in his blanket after he finished eating. This worked well for months.

One sad day, I had to excuse myself for just a minute.  Naturally, I told John to sit tight till I got back.  Everything would have been fine, except the Buster the Dog wanted in.  No three-year-old could have resisted.  Buster surely thought he’d gone to Doggy Heaven when he found breakfast waiting for him, set right at puppy level.  Making quick work of my tidy layout, he spilled the milk, gobbled the eggs and bacon, and smeared the grits as far as they’d go.  In fact, it was so altogether satisfying and filling, he pooped his gratitude out on the carpet.  Sickened by the smell, John vomited on top of the whole mess. By the time I’d finished my business and got back to the living room, John was bawling at the top of his lungs and Buster was happily burrowed into the sofa, licking the jam off the toast.

I scraped up the worst of the mess and fixed John another breakfast, not because I thought he deserved it, but because it was the only way to assuage his loud and continuous grief.  Buster went back to the yard and I spent the next couple of hours catching up on some unplanned cleaning.

As a footnote, I noticed fruit flies buzzing around John’s toy box later that morning.  Digging deep, I found a rotten banana right at the bottom, but that’s a story for another day.  Just so you know, later that week I pulled a peanut butter and jelly sandwich out of the VCR.

Poor Dog

Croc’s ears were itching with a black reside.  I cleaned the interior as deeply as I dared.  He loved it and leaned into me till I got the job done.  The residue was black as tar.  Buzzy liked the look of that, so he had to have prophylactic ear cleaning, too.  Croc fell in love with the vet when she went in for a deep ear cleaning.  It was likely a year or fungal infection.  I didn’t know if I’d get him out of the office..  Sadly, Buzzy’s ears were fine, leaving him to get nothing but vaccines.  The vet is a tiny woman, weighing far less tha Croc, who weighed 126.8 lbs.  I was proud taking him in, thinking he’d lost weight.  Last trip he weighed 122 lbs.  I’d even had to take his collar down one inch since the last visit.  I assured the doctor he’d really lost weight, but I don’t think she bought it, telling me, “Cut his food in half, again.”  She gave me a judgmental look.  I much prefer seeing her husband and partner vetinarian.  He looks like he needs his rations cut in half.  She was very pleased with Buzzy who’d lost four pounds since I cut Croc’s food by half.  Buzzy doesn’t care if he eats.

Now my ears itch.

 

How to clean dog’s ears

Soak a cotton ball in ear cleaning solution

Gently clean all curves and creases until ear is clean, taking care not to push cotton ball in too deep.  Discard each sponge.    Repeat till clean. If your dog is like mine, he or she will enjoy it.

Use fresh sponges so as not to reintroduce infection.

Repeat several days till clear.

Inspect frequently and clean often.

See your veterinarian if it doesn’t resolve or becomes chronic.  May need medication.